[IC] Rikki Syndathik's Holo-Journal [Unavailable IC]

[Trakaton Kalkoran]

A Holo-image titled 'The Calm Before the Storm' flickers to life of a young Zabrak Acolyte perched on top of a military structure, sat in a meditative pose, with curious yellow eyes and a Vibrosword hilt visible over her right shoulder. A large messy scar sits in the middle of her forehead, along with numerous smaller ones scattered under her eyes. In the background, occasional explosions can be heard in the far distance, and the low chatter of a disgruntled military camp peppers the silence that would otherwise be present before she began to speak.
Upon stabilising the Holocommunicator against whatever it was leaning on, she sat up straight, and stared into the camera, her expression currently unreadable.

"This is a Holo recording from Acolyte Rikki Syndathik, Zabrak Acolyte of the esteemed House Horuset."

She took a moment to readjust her position slightly, trying and failing to get comfortable, eyes flickering off to the side as something exploded somewhere over the horizon, before her gaze came back to the camera once more.

"We are at war with the Republic. We were diverted from heading to Corellia, and deployed on a planet suddenly, Plooma. We were thrust straight into battle, against soldiers and Jedi alike. The Jedi filth ran, and I have been reduced to wearing a scavenged secondhand belt from a dead Imperial, as my own belt was used as a makeshift bandage, stopping an Apprentice’s guts escaping his body on the battlefield after he was shot straight through with a blaster. That was day one. Corellia is lost, and this planet in the Northern Territories is now part of our front line."

She clasped her hands in front of her, brow furrowed somewhat as she continued, disappointment at the situation evident.

"We have been on Plooma for four days now. We are cut off from supply lines, and ration levels were low to start, reserves destroyed by Republic filth. Members of the powerbase have been heading out hunting and foraging, to the extent that the local animal populace around Arctis Outpost, our main camp, has been noticeably thinned.Myself and another Acolyte went foraging yesterday and came back with a captive and a corpse. We were fishing in the lake to the North West of camp, and two men attacked us, presumably locals, as we later discovered they had no dog tags. My fellow Acolyte killed one, and I knocked the other unconscious, wanting to take him back to camp for interrogation. The corpse shall be used as food for Sith Sarias’s beasts, no doubt, as shall the live one after we are done with him."

Her tone grew cold at that last sentence, malice flooding her words, her mouth curling into a slight sneer, before she resumed her neutral expression.

"I have been assigned to Mundus Forward Outpost for the next three days, or longer. A short shuttle journey took us here, the camp is on our Eastern Front. The camp smells of fuel, iron, and blood. The soldiers are starving and exhausted, awaiting a shipment of supplies that have not come. Even without extending my senses, their fatigue and frustration is palpable. It is almost pitiful, though I can hardly blame them. The plains to the East are strangely calm, with little sign of war, though perhaps this is just the calm before the storm. A transport ship is crashed not far out into the plains, Imperial in design, and a soldier stationed in the camp suggested it may have been shot down. So close to our line, it is almost unnerving.There is a massive facility far off to the East, and I cannot help but wonder whether that is where we are going. We are stationed here to undergo a rescue mission for one of our own later today. If we succeed, we will be rewarded. If we fail, yet live, we will be here much longer, surrounded by our shame and failure. I will give my all to not see that happen. Should it take my life, it will be a life given for the Empire, for the Dark Lord, a life well sacrificed. If I do not record another entry here, that will be why. I probably should have started these months ago, but I suppose there’s nothing like the looming threat of death to spur one into action."

Her tone shifted to almost one of sadistic amusement as she spoke the last few words, a smirk appearing on her face at the last line.

"To whoever may watch this recording, Force Serve you, this is Rikki Syndathik, signing off, for hopefully the first, but not last, time."

Her expression turned stoic, she bowed her head slightly to the camera, right hand over her left heart, before reaching forwards to turn the recording off once more.

[Trakaton Kalkoran]

The holo flickered to life to show Rikki setting it against something and sitting back, tucking her legs underneath her and sitting up straight. The sound of rushing water echoed around her and she looked to be in a cave.

A fresh bandage sat wrapped around her left wrist, and her hands lay clasped on her lap. A tired smile lay on her lips, her hair sat damp on her head, snaked in between her horns, a stray black curl sat loosely around the small horn on her forehead.

"So.." she began with a sigh, her gaze flickering off to her left a few moments, before back to the camera. "Didn't die on that mission, evidently. Or in the war, at all. Raz'Vhel did." she paused, huffing lightly out of her nose and shaking her head. [color=#eeacf9]"Weirdest part of that is I wouldn't have expected to care, and yet I did. It.. hurt. None of them have hurt since.." [i]she blinked, "Heck, probably since Sakre." she shrugged, her expression hardening somewhat. "But it is what it is. I should just be thankful those that survived did. Wradaii returned in one piece and has even ascended, to Sith Sarias no less. Mayaz, too - and I can even call her that now." she smiled gently, seeming to relax a little.

"She's going to take me to Hoth, along with Apprentice Zynn and Neophyte Polaris. I've been working on controlling beasts as much I can without a proper practice subject, although.." she then grinned, "Mil'riha is holding onto a little bird I subdued for me. I get to see it when I go and visit him, and I'll be taking it when I can." she smiled. "Past that, the practical experience catching beasts will be an excellent experience. I'm considering starting a beast compendium of my own, pretty much inspired by the research I was tasked to do for this trip." she nodded, looking right, pausing to think.

She then smiled, her gaze flickering to the camera once more.
"Also, I've accidentally facilitated a betrothal between Apprentice Sotazar and Apprentice Sekker's cousin, Rehara, so that's.." she grinned, "It's weirdly wonderful to hear about. My instinct was bang on, they really suit each other, and he seems more than pleased with the match. Goes to show what offhanded suggestions can throw into motion sometimes, I suppose." she chuckled happily, looking down a moment and fussing with her hair behind her right horn as she did, before looking up again, resuming her neat posture.

"And, lastly for tonight, I think.. I may actually make it." she shrugged with a small smile. "I decided to pursue Lord Iezkon as a master, asked that she tasked me, and.. she did. Earlier today I handed in the two written ones." she nodded, her smile widening. "The third was sparring Apprentice Kazhan, which.." she began to grin, shrugging again with exaggerated nonchalance, "I think it went well, for sure." she chuckled, a deviant twinkle in her eye. "So, hopefully.. next one of these I record I'll be signing off as more than an Acolyte. But," she smiled, slapping her hands against her thighs, "Not just yet. I promised someone I'd have patience, and patience I shall have. So, until then, this is Acolyte Rikki Syndathik, signing off titled such for hopefully the final time." she grinned, bowing gently to the camera before reaching to shut the recording off.

[Trakaton Kalkoran]

The holorecording would flicker on. Rikki sat, yellow gaze settled on the camera tinted a bright green by the hue of the recording. Her Acolyte robes were gone, replaced not by the basic Apprentice robes but a set of armour. A plated lower robe, black and red, and a black fitted cuirass on her torso covered the most of her, a brown plate topping the piece to cover her upper chest and shoulders. Blood red sleeves snaked below chunky metal vambraces covering her forearms, and sturdy boots peeked out from under her lower robe. The tattoos on her face had changed. Gone was the geometric design, and while that had seemingly been done by an inexperienced hand, leaving patches of scarring in far too many places, these were perfect. Stark black inkwork trailed across the alien's face, a combination of smooth curves and sharp points to the lines. Sat in her hands was a saber, the design on its casing eerily similar to the one on her face, an intricate juxtaposition of smooth and sharp shapes in black and red.

The alien inhaled, tilting her head and bobbing her browridges with a wry smile as she began.

"So.. not an Apprentice. Not any more, at any rate. For now."

She chuckled softly, straightening up, gently turning the saber in her hands as she talked.

"Lord Iezkon took me, which I will be forever thankful for. She set me another task after the third, in the end. One I.. really struggled with, actually. She wanted me to bring her something that means something to me, and represents.."

The alien paused then, blinking, as though realising something, but shook the thought off and continued.

"That both represents me and would be a sacrifice, and inspires the Lorekeeper in her."

Rikki shrugged somewhat helplessly.

"I couldn't think of anything. I've never had property, I was the property. Ran into the same problem with this," she waggled the saber in one hand a moment, "Too, actually, but.. I'll get to that."
She shifted her weight slightly as she went to carry on.

"I.. remembered my mother had spoken of a weapon. Not quite an heirloom, but one that could be if claimed. A zhaboka. I looked at just getting one, instead of the one, in case I couldn't go, but to my surprise Lord Iezkon allowed me to go to Iridonia."

She frowned slightly.

"It was hotter than I imagined, I'll give it that." she shrugged in slight irritation, pursing her lips briefly. "The tribe were still where they'd been decades back. I simply walked in and presented the challenge. The leader.. my brother, I guess. Or, my half-brother. Fought him. It would have been easy if I could have used the Force but I wasn't going to risk it. And.."

She looked up for a moment, falling silent in thought, before looking back to the camera.

"I don't know. It felt right. I used augmentation, slightly, but that was it. I let him live, as I had no reason to kill him after claiming the weapon. Apparently that wasn't the done thing, but frankly," she shrugged, "I couldn't much care less. I had what I wanted. I'd pondered whether it had been mercy. I decided if anything it was repulsion." she shook her head lightly, "I couldn't care less for their traditions. Let the tribesman live in his shame. He does not pose enough of a threat to me to be worth finishing off." she sneered slightly, looking off to her right for a few moments, before turning to continue.

"And so I presented Lord Iezkon the weapon, and she accepted me as her Apprentice. She said that despite fate being against me, she saw use in me, and was curious to see what the future would hold for me."

Rikki smiled softly, sighing then.

"I was her Apprentice for about a month. Her time was demanded elsewhere, and she gave her Apprentices a choice. To stay with her, with looser rules, or to become a Neophyte. The problem was for me I need.." she frowned, sighing in slight exasperation, muttering 'Kark this sounds so egotistical' as she shifted her weight again, gesturing widely with her hands before laying them over her saber on her lap then. "The problem is courtesy of Leivé and impressing the right people, I've fallen headfirst into being involved in an invasion campaign in Imperial space, so.. I needed more than that. I chose to become a Neophyte." the alien smiled, "Despite hating it. Hating the fact that I in essence had to stand there and tell this woman who had saved me from the fate of stagnation in the Acolyte pool that if I continued to serve her it would hold me back. And.. she understood. As she had when Johran had done the same. Lyrua.. surprised her. Not me, but her. Lyrua stayed. Whether her ambitions will ever flourish remains to be seen, but I have not discounted the possibility yet." she nodded, straightening up a little more.

"And so I was in essence sans Master, sans saber, sans anything I had not set up for myself.." she grinned for the first time in the recording then, "And that was absolutely fine by me. Within.. a day I had three avenues for a saber. Within three, a job. Armour bought for me. I continued securing my own training as I had been doing, and I'm more than happy with my progress. And I'm fairly certain I won't be a Neophyte for much longer." she nodded, looking down to the saber then.

"This was.. option two. I was brought to fight a Shadow Jedi, and if I did well, we would turn their saber into mine. Into this. She caught us off guard, to begin with, but I think.. I surprised her. She abandoned her follow-through, which would have possibly lost the other his head." she tilted her head, still gazing at the weapon, seemingly melancholy about the whole ordeal, "She abandoned it in a brief retreat, letting him advance, letting me advance. I caught her in the ankles with lightning.. and went to try and finish her barrier with a Pull just as the other did with a Grip. And.." Rikki chuckled, shaking her head and rolling her eyes as she looked back to the recorder then, "That's how I ended up with a Shadow Jedi attempting to dropkick me." she chuckled softly once more, exhaling. "The two of us both opted for Speed. I damn near cut her leg off. The filth still spun midair and caught us both, and my visor was blotted out by blood, but.." she shook her head. "She was bleeding out. He choked her to death. I took one of her sabers, and spent a day straight not long after making my own crystal. The rest was her saber and my vibrosword. I was asked to bring anything sentimental I could use to craft it, anything that I could sacrifice and.. found the same problem again. I had to find something, and as much as I'm attached to my metal leg it's not as if I couldn't just buy another."

The alien paused then, sighing after a long moment.

"I chose my tattoos. It wasn't time. And yet.." she closed her eyes, her grip on the saber tightening slightly, "And yet I did it. I had.. sworn to myself I would wait until he was dead. Until I'd killed him. It was the only thing I could truly sacrifice, and so," she gestured to her face, "These are of my tribe. The others were.. not. They were in essence a brand. The Sith who put them there yet lives and yet.." she furrowed her brow, tapping the saber against her right hand in thought, "I'm not so sure what to do about that any more."

She stayed silent another long moment, then shaking her head.

"Regardless, I've not the time to focus on it yet. After the invasion I'll have to, but, for now it's impractical. I survived my first Naval encounter yesterday. My job includes being Second in Command of a squadron and I brought some of the ships in as reserves. Took down a Corvette." the alien then let the saber sit on her lap, clapping her hands together almost sarcastically, "Which would have been an all-round wonderful experience if I wasn't petrified the whole time. Like.." she exhaled, rubbing her forehead, before gesturing lightly, then dropping the hand back to her lap, "I can drive all of two speeders and two freighters in an absolute pinch. I don't.. know space tactics. My boss knew this, and yet.." she shrugged helplessly, "It is what it is. I've started reading up and I'll likely pester Zak with questions. At least I know what she expects from me now, even if I learnt it the dangerous way."

She tilted her head, then.

"I've started to record what I know, too. While I would otherwise aspire to create a Holocron, by the curse of my blood, I cannot, and so I shall do it the boring way." she chuckled softly, shrugging.

"It's.. actually helping me theorise on my studies though, finding knowledge gaps and experimenting my way to filling them, where I can. And where I can't, I'm at least building a map so I'll know what I don't know. Plus I've thought of uses for it already. An arduous task, no doubt, but I shall make it worth it."

The alien paused to stretch a moment, leaning her hands either side of her.

"We invade Syrbandor III in three days, and are to have it captured by the end of the year, be it by direct conflict or simply besieging them.. as they did to the "Castles of Old," as Sith Nova put it." she chuckled softly, sighing and tilting her head once more, "And then I will have what feels like most of my time back. I don't regret where I've focused for a minute, but it will be good to see the skills developed being used to improve the Powerbase. To reap the knock-on rewards, as it were." she smiled with a light nod.

She sat up once more and bobbed her browridges slightly. "First and foremost on that plate being a project assigned to me and two others by the Dark Lord herself. The first time she's ever directly spoken to me and it was in essence a compliment. That alone was terrifying, somehow." the alien grinned, "I suppose I've been spending too much time around people who dismiss me unable to be anything but deviant and useless by virtue of my race." the alien smirked softly, "And it is entirely their loss. A misconception I will only devote so much of my time to disproving, when I decide I want to." she gestured lightly, almost dismissively, smiling softly as she dropped her hands back to her lap. "So.. this is, not Apprentice, but Neophyte Syndathik signing off. Glory to the Empire, Glory to Horuset." she dipped her chin, then reaching forwards to click the recording off.

[Trakaton Kalkoran]

The holorecording would flicker into life, the alien sat cross-legged in front of the device. Baggy grey pants drowned her legs, the loose material pinched in at the tops of knee high black boots, a plated dark grey armoured coat on her upper half, a deep red trim adorning the smooth panels of it, outlining the zabrak. New gauntlets sat on her hands too, red skin peeking out beneath the open-ended metal, their design a sleeker combination of black metal panels again. Her hair had grown and seemingly not been cut back, loose curls threatening to overtake her horns atop her head, yellow eyes as bright as always, if not the slightest hint brighter from last. Her trousers seemed the faintest bit dusty, and a hand would be folded over a black helmet on her lap, the blank visor with barely visible scratches.

She'd have her head tilted faintly, and the other hand would retract to join the first as the recording began, the alien inhaling softly to speak.

"So. I have the apprenticeship I desired, finally.. and it has been nothing short of tumultuous. Valeus, as far as I could see, wasn't ready to ascend. I kept quiet in the hopes I was wrong, but," she shrugged gently, "So far he's done nothing but prove my opinion of him over and over. He's torn himself from us with the desire to pin Sith Narazri as a progressive, for supporting Sith Kelsa and for taking me," she'd pause, and smirk, "Funny, considering I've done nothing but prove myself since, and his own apprentice is off insulting him behind his back and earning a reputation for being noncommittal." she'd huff once, shifting to lean her chin on her left palm, the elbow moving to her thigh, and the right shifting to drum its fingers on the helmet in a slightly agitated manner, then.

"And yet that's the least of my problems. I have.. a void that's looked back and said come inside, or else. And another perhaps waking up," she'd frown softly, "Oh, and the possibility of being just.. taken, by Lord Kalkoran, should he choose to. Mal and Hozan are gone and he's tasked the Overseer branch with finding him another, which," she'd inhale, sigh, and run the left hand through her hair before placing it back under her chin, stray curls clinging to her horns as they fell before finally succumbing to gravity again, the right ceasing its rhythmic tapping and falling still again.

"I'm also a part of, now, because Sith Kelsa knew I'd not have a good enough reason to say no, the absolute.." she'd just trail off with a small growl, then pursing her lips to continue, "So I'm also an Overseer, in essence having been headhunted for it, all of four days before trials started, and I essentially pulled the first one out of thin air." she chuckled softly, "Can't say I don't earn my keep. And then I sat down with Sith Kelsa and we reworked.. the entire thing again. It's almost perpetual, at this point. Hopefully this iteration will last, though. I'm slowly running out of holes to find." she smiled wryly.

She'd then roll her wrist in a light gesture, frowning faintly, "Anyway, the actual point - Kelsa's shortlisted me. Of.. three, from what I can tell. And the timing is abysmal, frankly. He also backed me into a corner in the conversation, and made it out to be choosing between being a shadow and being an example," she shook her head softly, "I replied at the time that of course I want to be an example, it's," she'd scoff, "Kark, why I stayed here at the end of the day. But, it's not that simple, I think. That doesn't depend on them," she titled her head slightly further, "That depends on me. He talked of sparing me from this conflict not considering the possibility it's one I believe in." she'd hum softly, straightening up again and shaking her head once more.

"It's not what I want, even if I'd not object. Never mind right now. We're heading to war again, shortly. LEXICON.. wasn't just a done and dusted invasion, and is still dragging on now, but," she'd grin, then, "I had one more good run before I was done, actually. There was.." she'd gesture in a slightly bashful manner, "What we at first thought was an accidental spot of treason on our side, and actually turned out to be.. a whole swathe of interconnected people happily conducting their own business off on the side that stemmed from what we'd stumbled on, and I signed up for what was meant to be a flimsiplast trail and actually ended up being.. finding all of that," she chuckled softly, smiling lightly as she continued, "And basically uncovered all but a singular part of it, got thrown at a team of intelligence agents, took one order and turned around and came back with the rest of the answer." she'd grin with a soft shrug, the expression settling into a wry smile over a few moments.

"It's been good, but, it's been good to have the space from it too. It went straight from that to trials, so I didn't exactly get a break, but, the change was nice." she bobbed her browridges, humming and tilting her head as she continued, "Oh. Kelsa's A'tul. Him, and Leivé, ascended. Nivalis challenged him, of all people, which my Meistras shot down as planned," the alien smirked faintly, "And not a moment after he stepped foot on those steps he turned around and took the boy as an apprentice - he was in shock, and it was an utterly delightful moment." she chuckled lightly, then furrowing her brow, pausing before carrying on, "And.. that's another thing. Darth Horuset, she.. took their child. His and Lord Iezkon's, that is." she fell silent for a few moments, the soft frown persisting.

"I messaged her. I couldn't not. She finally replied today and told me the best I can do for her is to continue to prove my worth within the Powerbase. To.. make everyone see what she saw in me, and.. still sees in me," she'd sigh, despite the ghost of a smile on her lips, "And she's right, of course. I knew there'd be nothing, but.." she pursed her lips briefly and shook her head lightly, the rest following in a softer tone, "I just couldn't not."

The alien's gaze would drift down to her helmet for a few moments, then, before a smirk appeared as she looked back up. "Also, Kiro asked me to do one thing, and it turned out to be seventeen things in a trenchcoat, and long story short we went to hunt a duneclaw and I brought an egg to Leivé for an omelette and we made a pan." she'd nod once, then grin. "And it was karking delicious~" she chuckled softly.

The expression would shift finally to a sad smile, then, albeit a calm one. "Mm. And lastly, I guess, Sutta'Qo and I headed a hunt recently, too, and I got to name an extra laigrek we brought home as I bonded with it. Decided to call it Raz," she'd sigh softly, then laugh once, "He said he almost regrets letting me make the call, and I just told him I'd take an almost." she'd shake her head softly, then tilting it, and after a few moment's pause hum again. "I should wrap up. Might be hunting a padawan down with Ignia and Sotazar tomorrow," she frowned, left arm finally freed from being a chin prop as the alien went to fuss the hair aside her left horn, "And as long as he doesn't end up the same way Elias did a bit ago.." she trailed, sighing softly and simply bobbing her browridges as she dropped the hand back to her helmet, straightening up properly again finally, "As when a Sith asks you to help them up, you know it's bad." she smiled with a shrug that was clearly more blasé than she felt on the matter, stretching a moment before settling her gaze back on the camera.

"The next of these, then, will likely come full circle, I suppose. Back to war we go," she'd smile, "So until then, this is Rikki Syndathik, Apprentice, finally, to Sith Narazri, signing off." she'd nod once, before leaning in again to cut the holo off.

[Trakaton Kalkoran]

The holorecording would flicker to life to show Rikki, again. The alien in the display appeared laid on her side, her head propped on her left arm, the hand lost amongst black curls that now trailed down just past her shoulders. In her right, a wine glass half full with a deep liquid nestled. Her expression sat a calm neutral, though she'd inhale and exhale lightly, before making to speak.

"This is Apprentice Syndathik.." she'd at first trail off, before huffing faintly in amusement, bobbing her browridges with a wry smile, "And first and foremost, I am fucking tired.." she'd chuckle gently, going to raise the glass to her lips to sip the drink, lowering it again to continue.

"I ended up being an Overseer for.. nigh on seven months. And I'd wanted to quit after less than three. But we were at war, and Sith Kelsa had more than the one duty. Nyrithe left and we needed another. And then of course, just as we returned from deployment to Dubrillion, months later.. he was reassigned. And I was suddenly the most experienced person left, so.." she'd sigh, deeply. "...well, someone had to make the karking trials go…" she'd purse her lips softly, taking another sip of wine in pause, her forefinger beginning to tap lightly on the glass in thought as she lowered it.

"But I have broken that chain. A fair few of the pool have ascended, now. Two, to Sith Zarchas - to Elias," she'd smile softly, "Who has ascended himself. Unchallenged, at that, and in perfect time to claim his choices - though he had a fight for one.. one he chose the grounds of like a true tactician and won for it. Lord Saltaeon took Uhlan, which I viewed as the best choice for him, and of that pool for her, too. Sith Kelsa.. took Cuvao," she'd shake her head gently, "The heretic. While the 'why' is not beyond me.. I've yet to decide whether I perceive it as a wise choice. Then again we are not exactly brimming with options, and he has yet to convince me to take the place.." she'd huff in soft amusement, "Though ironically, that’s not for lack of recent trying."

The alien's gaze would drift back to her wine, a sip taken before she began to simply swill it lightly as she spoke.

"Temekel put it well. She is a Vipion back from the dead, more alive than half the people who were already here. I am glad the trials happened, but, as she described the state, I became my work more than my progress. Things stopped moving. And after I quit they started all at once again. Moderation is perhaps a lesson finally learnt.." she'd smirk slightly, gaze flickering back to the recorder with an 'innocent' shrug of her shoulder, "...for now, at any rate. Time shall tell if it holds."

The wine would fall still once more, then, the smirk shifting to a soft smile, a melancholic hint to it, to start. "I found out it was Wradaii who placed the mine. A while back, now. Kari'da running her mouth of course being the cause. I didn't tell him, but, I did Sotazar, and he spoke to Sith Sarias. She pulled me aside and.. rather than warn me off seeking retaliation.. not that I'd even been set on it.. she simply told me to keep him in one piece but otherwise to use the fire well, as fuel. To not squander it but to wholeheartedly let it burn. And he and I had the best spar we'd had in a while. She solved a dilemma she didn't know I was having." she'd pause to muse, the smile widening into a proper one again, "And I'm crazy proud of Wradaii as of late. He's two initiatives to his name. The forging initiative, I've joined. And through an admission made in the process, Zartilda's got me on finally learning to write." she'd huff in light amusement, bobbing her browridges as she sipped the drink again, lowering it to continue, her gaze shifting back to the recorder as this time a stray curl escaped from behind a horn at the movement.

"On Dubrillion, too, one battle I was put in charge of a flank. I took Wradaii with me, amongst others. We held, barely, exhausted, with the Dark Lord's of all people's assistance at a point, and.. afterwards, he asked me whether he thought we'd avenged him. A question asked amongst bodies strewn in a trench, when the heat of battle was still cloying his blood, and yet still the mind moves back.." she'd sigh gently, "To our friend, dead and cold, a saber wound of his own making to his forehead in a chosen death, lest he be buried alive in the same setting we defended, this time. But did not the last. And despite the proud armoured man that asks, all I saw was the boy in Acolyte robes praying over a corpse in whispers. All I could see was the moment I clapped eyes on him, walking across the field carrying his body." she'd muse, fingers curling a little more around the stem of the wine glass as her gaze drifted back to the drink, "I don't know if we avenged him. If we ever will. But.. we hope we have, I feel.. and that is enough to say we have not. And.. I might yet tell him that." she'd frown gently, inhaling lightly as her gaze shifted to the device again, her left hand briefly shifting to tuck away the escapee curl once more as she brought herself to move on.

"Lexicon dragged on far past when planned, but was eventually won. For most of what remained, though, I could not take part. The House was deployed, and we returned with what can at best only be described as a pyrrhic victory. They tried to disobey, and so were shown fire," her gaze would flicker down to the glass, "Fire that cleanses. Utterly." before it returned as though it had not left. "Whereas Syrbandor bowed. They, remain mostly whole. An asset to the Empire rather than a lack of one for the Republic."

"And so, now, the House works to bring about the renewed prosperity of Sernpidal again. And I've ascension to think of. And.. with recent change.." she'd sigh softly, going to take more than a sip of the wine, continuing after she'd lowered it before her once more, blinking lightly as she did, a forefinger lifting from her glass in gesture as she began. "A chain has either been broken, or disguised, and I cannot tell which it is. Where once a rule that struck as anathema to the individuality of the Sith sat, now an exception is stated. Yet, this way of phrasing is not a new concept to me, rather, I think this is how it should have been all along. But that thought.. was only to disguise the chain. To make it fit, to excuse it, and so I see this.." she'd blink for a longer moment, her head shaking fractionally in a moment of pause before she carried on, "I see this and I have nothing but doubt. It sings of false hope. Of an open goal, only to motivate, never to be attained. As it should be, whether the chain persists or not, yet despite believing it is only now disguised.. I know I will be pulled in. And with each failure, I will improve, I will grow. And so despite the answer.. if the hope is false, it still pulls me the right way. If it is not.." she'd bob her browridges, inhaling lightly before sighing, deeply. "I don't even want to humour that it's not. The 'rule' is enough. It's excuse enough to try even if I expect to fail. And I will hate it so. But, that is nothing new." she'd finish dryly, gaze falling to her right for a few silent moments, before settling on the projector again.

"Anyway. All it really does is give me more cause to ascend well, rather than just ascend. I'd been torn on the choice, up until this. I don't think I'm ready, yet. But all being well between garnering support and collecting tokens, I will be. And I intend on getting a shitload done along the way." she'd chuckle gently, going to sip at the remainder of the wine, her left hand finally freeing itself from her hair, the alien shifting the elbow beneath her to lean on instead, the hand meeting the other on the glass stem, one forefinger tapping against the other seemingly in thought.

“Vliriel didn’t make the slot in the end. She messed up a bit too much all at once. Though in the aftermath, she spent time complaining about how the decision was made off second hand reports, when she’d seemingly sent no first hand ones, so I’ve no sympathy. I’ll keep trying with her, but,” she’d shake her head softly, “No sympathy. She is such the epitome of a dichotomy of potential it hurts. For every upside, sits equally a downside, and she seems forever internally pulled in both directions. Zartilda got the slot instead, amusingly. Likely no longer where she expected to end up, but, she has all the same. And I do see it as a good match, still.”

"...what else, what else." she'd kiss her teeth, before breaking into a grin. "Ah yes. Naile, Kelsa, and.." the grin would fade, somewhat, "A kid called Jaxen. This was.. a tangential lesson for me. But moreso for sure for him. He.." she'd blow air between her lips, finding the words, "Kelsa will never be done learning lessons from overconfidence. Never. He had his eye on this Acolyte, Jaxen Varn. Not from the trials I just ran, but from the ones before," she'd furrow her brow slightly, the ghost of a sad smile reappearing, "The kid was sharp, really sharp, and it wasn't just Kelsa's eye on him. Naile found out, and Naile killed him, to hurt Kelsa, on camera, in the trial, and waltzed into the briefing room after and rolled the boy's head to Kelsa's feet and claimed it was an accident, claiming that his chosen Apprentice had just not been good enough. We didn't point this out to him, at the time, that we'd watched the whole thing. And.. after he ascended, months after, after having him join the branch, too," she smirked widely, "We come to planning the next set, to discussing making the notes from the feeds and I casually tell him, yes, we did indeed watch exactly what actually happened as it happened and I just.." she'd pause, a soft chuckle escaping her lips as as shook her head in amusement, "The absolute horror that dawned on him in that moment was.. really something." she'd huff gently, before going to finish off the wine, her left hand drifting to see the empty glass floated from view, the alien shifting to lean on her front, hands clasping together in front of her for her chin to settle onto. Her scars hadn't changed, though the messy one in the centre of her forehead seemed to house a small welt across it, currently.

"And, not a week after I left, Sith Kelsa elected to return. Nyrithe currently seemingly has a flaming durasteel ramrod up her ass that's turning her into even more of a stumbling political buffoon than usual. Demands left right and centre, carelessly set tasks, reforms that Darth Horuset and Lord Kalkoran did not let stand they were so sloppy." she'd exhale gently, bobbing her browridges, "A task to brutalise an alien. Not a weak Acolyte. Simply, an alien. Handholding, spoonfeeding, testing virtually nothing. That they can follow orders, rather than arrive at the correct conclusions themselves. If this Powerbase is dragged her way.." she'd purse her lips faintly, eyes narrowing in thought, "Seemingly we become blundering fools, then. Blind to anything but the value of blood, rather than the value of the acts committed by those that hold it. We become about the pure and the impure, not the strong and the weak, and the subtle nuance in our philosophy is wasted. I would be wasted." she'd tilt her head lightly, her left horn not quite grazing an arm as curls spilled down over it, her gaze not shifting, "And I'm not in the business of wasting myself. As individuals grow, so should the whole. If the whole begins to regress.." she'd trail, gaze drifting from the camera in thought a few moments, before moving back to it, "I'm patient. I really, really am. And the intervention on the reforms was a step in a more refined direction. Nyrithe's lack of grace simply worries me. At least her and Valeus are perhaps suited in that regard. He is far worse, but.. they sadly seem to more than share the inability to think outside their box. The penchant to take a fact at face value, rather than delve into its causes. To boil actions down to things to be mimicked, rather than things with complex motives to contemplate. To see.." she'd shake her head gently, and trail again, before beginning once more.

"There are always exceptions. There are no hard rules. The Dark Lord, of all people, taught me that - long before these reforms. Even if all the exceptions come by her word, they exist, still. And anyone who believes they do not, no matter how small they may be, seems rigid, to me. Rigid things do not grow. Rigid things do not get formed, do not get moulded, improved, they get shattered. As Valeus rightly did. I suppose I shall simply wait to see if the same fate awaits Nyrithe." she'd muse, uprighting her head once more, chin lifting from her hands a moment for the right to run back through her hair, curls trying to fall back to her face getting caught on horns, in part, draping down either side of her cheekbones as she looked back to the recorder.

"...and I surprised Kelsa, again. Not in the 'fascinating' way. Not in the.. managing to hit him in a spar way. I mean.. properly, to his core." she'd exhale slightly, her gaze flickering down, and back up, "I didn't know he cared. He's to teach me crush, and in that.. the depths one must delve into the self to find the needed fuel.." her brow furrowed gently, "A sense of vengeance, and.. I just had to ask. And.. he answered. It was for his mother.. and for Ayla." she'd look back down, gaze not meeting the camera, then. "And I told him. I asked him if he'd want to know, even if I couldn't explain how, or why, I knew.. even if it'd cleave his House in two.." she shook her head gently, gaze still not shifting, though her tone would slowly grow softer. "...and he still, more than anything, wanted to know. He.." she exhaled sharply, eyes closing for a scant moment, before fluttering right back to the device, "If it had been Sakre, oh I know how I'd have wanted to know. He said she was a sister, to him," she'd look down again, "Instead of the insignificance he had claimed before, the lie I had clung to when debating this moment, this choice, in times past. And.. an insignificance I could have kept from him, but.." her head shook softly, gaze moving back to the recorder again, "I did not enjoy seeing him stumble on his words. He, unlike, Mayâz, I can trust not to.. act rashly, at least, I think. And as for her.. I might have killed her. But, frankly, she might have yet killed me. What he does is his choice, I hardly regret my part. She is of use alive. A threat is gone if she dies. A position opened. We shall simply see." she'd shrug, almost nonchalantly. Almost.

The alien's gaze would linger in silence a few moments more, before she spoke again, the traces of emotion once more gone from her tone. "And so for now I wait in my freedom, bound for another role, one organised before I even left the last. It has been good, and I have used it well, but.. it will be nice to get back to pursuing a path, admittedly. Even if it has taken over a year to attain. This one shall be my choice, not someone else's." she'd muse.

She'd smile slightly, then. "Lord Sanguis described me as the ambient lighting in a room, recently. Unnoticed when I am present, but, when I am not, it is noted, and moreover complained about." she'd chuckle gently, then sighing softly in a moment’s pause. "...Sith Kelsa told me I was slated to become a shadow on the path I tread, once. But, truly, I think Lord Sanguis's description is not only more apt, but, also what I aspire to. I've no need for eyes on me, not really. Only perhaps eyes on the fact that mine are the achievements of an alien. But, not on me. Only when I ask for them, this is optimal. I'd much rather be left, trusted to my own devices, ignored until I ask not to be."

The smile would widen into a proper one, albeit a lightly melancholic one once more, as her gaze flickered down again. "Maybe one day, here. Maybe not. Time shall tell, time shall tell." she'd bob her browridges to the thought, before looking up again as the expression softened.

"Next time, all being well, I shall catch up on this sooner. But then," she'd smirk slightly, "Where's the growth in all being well, really?" she'd huff in amusement, her right hand shifting from under her chin, again, pausing on its approach to the device as her chin lifted faintly, "This is Rikki Syndathik, Apprentice still happily to Sith Narazri, signing off until next time. Should I make it that far.." she'd smile, no semblance of sadness to the expression despite the words, if anything, merely a well-humoured acceptance, her hand reaching on to end the recording, the alien's bright yellow gaze flickering from view along with the rest of her as the holo ended.