[IC] Avestia's holorecordings

[Joslae]

The first recording flickered into life, the female Pureblood looking into the recording unit with what seemed to be confusion. A soft tap onto it followed as if to ask ‘Is this on and recording?’ Naturally the unit didn’t answer, but a moment passed before the crimson eyes caught onto the red blinking light.

“Is this recording? Yes? No? Stars, first attempt I make and I already feel unintelligent. How obnoxious. I am quite unsure how to start this in proper manner..”

Avestia wrinkled her nose in mild annoyance as she thought for a moment, repositioning herself lightly and turning her arm. This allowed the device to pick up on the head of her bed and a glimpse of a reflection from the window.

“I digress. My father has given me this device as an opportunity to record my thoughts when in private, to look back upon at later times. He also mentioned that it’d help me vent my frustrations that’ll undoubtedly form. There might be ulterior motives to this method but time will reveal those along the way, and I do not see them at this very moment.

Finally I have recovered from my Father’s punishment for my actions. An afternoon was spent in a kolto tank, the evening that followed suit spent in my mother’s arms. She is especially caring for the ones she cares for, even as Sith. This may have to do with the fact that the Force laid dormant in her till shortly after she finished her medical studies.

Words soothed the mind and her embrace calmed my racing heart, allowing me relaxation that I doubt I will find anywhere in the near future.

Where my brother did not react as caring as my mother, I never expected him to. From young on we have both been aware we are meant to become Sith and this might result in facing one another. Our last interaction was a brief exchange of words which for the most consisted of him reminding me of etiquette amongst Sith, which I was already quite well aware of.”

A rough minute passed where Avestia thought what subject to bring up next, before she inhaled deeply. Light nervousness had found its way into her words as she spoke up once more.

“In forty-eight hours I depart from the estate, and will enter the Dromund Kaas academy. I will go from a noble to one of many. While feeling nervous, I am anxious to form my own path, to take the first steps on my way of becoming Sith.”

Reaching for the device she pressed the recording button and with a soft click the recording shut off.

[Joslae]

The scenery had changed, when the second recording flickered into life. Compared to the previous recording Avestia seemed to be on an elevated surface, which was revealed to be the upper bed of a bunk bed as she turned her arm lightly. The words she spoke were with lowered tone and she sounded cautious, careful not to let anyone hear her.

‘’Right..I suppose it is about time for the second recording. Where do I even start? At the beginning, now I think of it. I have started my journey on the Dromund Kaas Sith academy. The time is here, the time to prove myself worthy of the name Sith.
Our group of acolytes consists of around..ten? Eight? I have a list of names here, but they are inconsequential in the first place. As long as they do not cross my path in hostile manner, they are allowed to simply be there.

What is more noticeable is that I am the pureblood..though I do not expect special treatment. Pureblood or not, I am an acolyte. In fact if I fail, it will be a stain upon my family and my kind. Or so I imagine it will be seen, at least.

The one that oversees our group though, stands out. Overseer Triktus is a through and through bitter man. Along his peers I have not seen him smile once, neither grin. Not even a husk of a smile, that contains no joy. This man has been beaten around by life, and what remains is the physical incarnation of bitterness. I am unsure what transpired in his life that caused him to become like this, perhaps I will find out over time.

The only brief contact I have had with my family was an exchange of words with my mother. It lasted for an estimated..three minutes? She asked me how I was, and I asked her how she was. It seems both of us are enduring and progressing, though I admit I do miss her presence.’’

Avestia took a deep breath, looking around as she thought on what subject to bring up next. The dorms seemed empty for now, so she continued. She seemed to be suspecting someone to walk in at any point, even if the recording had only lasted for a short time.

“The topic amongst acolytes has been tria-”

Cutting herself off she snapped her head towards the entrance, handheld recording device lowered immediately. It continued recording the audio, and annoyance filled her voice quickly. The device only captured her voice though, not one of the other acolytes that came to address her.

‘’-What-?” “Seriously? Tell him I will be there in the blink of an eye.”

Her voice trembled with a mix of agitation and nervousness, her voice going soft again as she spoke one more sentence.

“Overseer Triktus is in need of me personally, I wonder what for. Force serve whoever is watching this, if anyone.”

Before the holorecording was shut off she hopped down, causing the recording to shake before it shut off with the ever so familiar soft click.

[Joslae]

Avestia made an agitated impression, an annoyed frown on her face as she tapped onto the holocommunication device. With quick taps she scrolled through her list of contacts, though with every subsequent tap it became more and more obvious that whatever sliver of patience she still had, was wearing thin rapidly.

She was sat on one of the outgrown branches, and while it was far from too comfortable it provided her shelter from the unending downpour and privacy from glaring eyes. The call went on for minutes before finally coming through, the blue glowing projection the hand-held communication device produced showing a figure in black robes and a hood. Under that hood there was a mask, to hide the facial features and unintentionally muffling his voice.

“Dear sister. Father is unavailable at this point of time, though I will inform him that you have attempted to contact him.”

The words were spoken with an uncharacteristic calm for Sith, though that calm fell to deaf ears when they were picked up by Avestia. Her facial muscles scrunched up and the frown worsened before she bursted out into a storm of words. From being agitated she became downright furious and made no futile attempt at hiding it.

“Are you -serious- right now, Avestis? If he were really unavailable you would not even be allowed to hold his holocommunication device and you know this! So get over yourself and allow me to speak Father, he has some explaining to do which I am a hundred percent sure you don’t have a clue of!”

“It is improper to show anger in front of your superiors, some see it as stepping out of place. Are you sure your current state of mind is one fitting a conversation with our Father?”

With soft steps of feet and rustling of robes the unit was then handed over to another person, facial features strongly being similar to Avestia albeit different ever so lightly. Before he could speak another word though, the storm that had been building up inside Avestia was let loose in the form of another torrent of furious words.

“Have you lost your mind, Father!? I thought I was the one to walk my own path of becoming Sith, and then you decide to pull the strings from behind the scene! And of all places you decide to push your own daughter into the hands of a Pureblood traditionalist house? Is it not enough that you have the capability of marrying off your daughter for political and house relations, that every step of my way of becoming Sith is to act as unifier?”

It was obvious that she had crossed a line though, as silence lingered in the air. It was the calm before the storm and this storm was about to hit her with a vengeance formed of superiority and disarming calmness. What disarmed her more than the following words was her sudden grasping for her throat as she was lifted into the air and choked through the Force, the holocommunication unit clattering onto the thick branch and breaking the chokehold.

“Dare not put that tone up with me again, child. The consequences will last you a lifetime if you continue to step out of place. You see yourself too important, where you are merely another acolyte amongst acolytes. My placing of you in the ranks of a more populated Pureblood house has to do with -you- and not with me. If you survive amongst Acolytes in renowned house, possibilities will form. Now think on the words I have spoken and have a proper excuse to disturb one above you in the future, daughter.”

The call ended and Avestia was left gasping for air while she rubbed her throat, a frustrated scream being audible shortly after.

[Joslae]

Unlike the previous entries, this entry consisted of only audio. A soft buzzing started the holorecording, following with a heavy crackling before both faded away. Her voice was completely calm and collected, as if the words she spoke had been thought over at least a dozen of times.

“It has been quite some time since I have last made a recording. The reasoning behind this might be the series of events I have witnessed and gone through, alongside a chain of epiphanies. Now how did these epiphanies manifest? Shortly after I joined the ranks of this House, an Acolyte was executed. Though he was not given the privilege of a personal execution. His name is of no importance, but I recall him arriving late to a lesson. Whoever was giving the lesson decided to test his force barrier, and facing a line of acolytes he found himself on the receiving end of at least five force pushes. Needless to say, he did not stand a chance.”

Avestia inhaled, gentle tapping of her long nails on whatever surface the recording device had been placed on being audible in the background. A page of a book was turned, before she continued.

“Death comes regularly for Acolytes. In fact it visits the ranks of the acolytes in greater frequency than a Sith or a Lord wishes for a student, let alone being one that they are looking for. So call it an impasse. I have long ago realized the importance of patience, even amongst the Sith. Movements are meant to be meticulous. On another hand, if one does not steadily show improvement one can argue it as stagnation, and it is far from unheard of for a superior Sith to erase the existence of a stagnating individual.

So, where exactly am I in this situation? I have completed five trials and have been without large injury. This does not come through a lack of participation though, even if I am far from the most interactive Acolyte, when it comes to interaction with my peers. No, my interaction is aimed towards the ones who are actually capable of holding and pulling the strings.
Now who do I want as master? The order is unsurprisingly rather lacking on individuals. It has a large number of individuals who I would rather lose a limb over than join as student. In fact I can safely say that the majority of the Lords does not interest me.”

Gentle tones of annoyance had started to manifest in the calm voice of the Acolyte, hints of frustration which she did not bother to make an attempt to hide.

“Sith Aljo is a brute and an Alien, so there is no chance for her to become my master even if I wanted to, which I do not. Sith Siors is incompetence in the flesh and I continue to be clueless on how he dresses himself in the morning. The only Lord who even remotely cares about the growth of their student would be Lord Saud, and opportunities let alone reason to interact with her have been lacking. I, for one, do not have the intention of dangling around like a puppet. I accept having to do the dirty work, but I do wish to progress as Sith.

So the conclusion is that patience is the key for my survival and growth. Undoubtedly, soon enough one who does interest me will become Sith. In the meanwhile, I will do my very best to impress while continuing to grow. Also there is a certain Acolyte who vanished into thin air, but without a doubt they still linger around..time to start some tracking, which might complement what I have found with me assisting the tomb diving on Koriban.”

A soft click followed as the holorecording was turned off, shortly after the sound of a book closing was recorded.

[Joslae]

The holorecording sprung to life, and how the sight had changed. It had returned to the previous surroundings, showing the many archives of the Qimtash estate. The light had been dimmed to a gentle white, illuminating the unending rain which could be seen through the window behind the Acolyte.

As the surroundings, Avestia had changed too. The usually so meticulously cared for hair of the noble was hanging loosely and seemed dirty. Dark and grey lines were obvious under her eyes. The eyes that stared into the recording were tired, exasperated ones. Between this recording and the previous one with video, it seemed that Avestia had aged and matured against her will.

“I’ve read reports. Reports of those going insane, the ones who are described as ruined mentally. Some talked about the walls closing in on them, before the descent into madness started. While I feel as if I am losing my mind, it isn’t quite the same as that. Instead of the walls closing in, the walls have crumbled on top of me.

Whatever foundation I had in the past, it has faded. I feel this gaping emptiness inside, and it’s just all so very tiring. I know many would call this impatience, but I need -something- to distract me at this moment or I know it will all come crashing down. I cannot show myself to my peers like this, let alone my superiors, lest I wish to destroy my image and get myself killed.

I need to find something I can continue with, as at this moment I seem to be walking in circles and stagnating. I do not know in what form this will come with, but sadly I must also be realistic and admit that it is unlikely to show up if I decide to spend all my time in our archives, reading and drinking.”

Unlike previously she seemed to be bitter through and through, as if something was tearing at her on the inside. This bitterness had creeped into her words and she made no futile attempt to hide it, placing her hand around the glass and delicately nursing the alcohol.

“Apprentice Tashha..due to recent events I am unsure if I want to continue striving to be your student. Perhaps it is the emptiness inside me speaking. The next morrow I might wake up and this current view will have changed, at this point I am honestly unsure of anything.

This life turns out to be so much more draining than I expected, and it isn’t only because of the relation to other Sith. It is the lack of connection to other Sith, rather. Every move needs to be planned and thought out, and my mind is currently filled with everything but finding a way on how not to slip up.”

She sipped at the glass again, before shrugging to the recording and lowering the glass. A faint, tired smile had formed on her lips.

“Perhaps this is the life I was meant to be born into, yet due to my own lack of initiative I have never grown into it properly. Thus, I will do as all do, adapt and survive. Find a master who is willing to assist me in my growth while I serve them. Two seem to be remaining for such position. Lord Saud and Apprentice Tashha.

There is a chance this is my last recording, time will tell. Dark side serve.”

Raising the glass she turned the recording off with a crackle and a click, the image fading once more.

[Joslae]

The holorecording flickered into life with its soft blue crackling, revealing a mat of black hair over a face which stared into the recording. Her head was rested on her hands, crimson eyes settled on the device as if it were an unsolvable mystery to her.

Picking herself up she allowed a long, extended yawn to escape her lips. Sleepily she rubbed her eyes before reaching for a steaming glass which she wrapped her hands around. Her long nails tapped against the glass as she took a sip, before finally starting to speak.

“I’ve just woken up. So forgive me, future me..forgive me for being half asleep. I fell asleep in the archives, and I’m pretty sure I barely avoided the wrath of the assistant lorekeeper. Though that’s besides the point. We had a trial yesterday but for the first time I actually felt like I wasn’t allowed or meant to be who I want to be.

Instead of exploring on my own, testing my boundaries and others’ boundaries..I stuck with my own kind. Instead of thriving outside of my environment as the ‘superior’ being that I’m meant to be..I grouped up with five others. Which is far from a bad call from a logical standpoint, of course. It just left me with more emptiness though, as I did not do things on my own.
There was no mettle on my end. In fact, I dare say there was no mettle amongst any of the purebloods. There was only the survival of the pure. Survival of the better ones..”

A deep sigh left her lips before she went to sip the steaming liquid from the glass. Avestia shivered before placing the glass down and continuing. The pureblood seemed unusually focused for how drowsy her voice gave away she was.

“To avoid risk, Cadeus killed the Chiss..what’s her name again? Sara, that’s it. Never really interacted with her. Actually haven’t interacted at all with the recent additions to the powerbase, so I’m honestly not sure what to think of her death.

Death of a force user is something else though. The Force is a gift and an amazing one at that, yet we’re killing one another over who is stronger or purer. We squander such gifts, and while I am not sure of how ‘prominent’ of a Sith she could have been, now she did not receive such chance at all. A life of interacting with others, peers, family, superiors..all taken away as if a candle was extinguished in a storm of superiority syndrome.

Yet it’s pruning the pure tree of the weak, right? So? I honestly don’t know anymore. All I know is that next time I won’t be this obedient towards someone who tells me I should stick with my own kind. I’ll do what I see fit, thank you very much. That should also positively affect my notes.

A part of me is glad that Tasha didn’t ask me if I knew anything. Because I do not wish to lie to her, and because I can’t recall actually having had a proper reason or validation behind not knowing anything about the Chiss and her disappearance.”

With a soft click she ended the recording, the image fading away with the sound of soft drinking in the background.

[Joslae]

A tired Avestia was sat down in front of the recording device, her hair a loose, greasy mess. The usual band that collected her hairs was placed on the table, allowing a curtain of black hair to fall over her eyes. Her voice was quite low and the tiredness that her form gave away transitioned flawlessly into her voice as she started to speak.

“It’s been an eternity since my last recording. I’m glad I’ve kept notes of what transpired in the meanwhile, so I can collect my thoughts properly in these recordings, once every while. If I had not then I undoubtedly would’ve forgotten the events which I consider ‘less’ important than the others.

To start off. Trial period has ended once more. It even ended quite a while ago, and with it I should’ve recorded. Results are two more trials failed, yet I’m quite fond of the notes which I received. No longer will I sit down and wait, instead I’ll twist whatever I can grasp to force opportunity onto myself.”

With the last sentence finished she reached for the steaming glass on the far edge of the table, cradling it in her hands as if it were something precious. Nudging her hair to the side she stared into the device, taking a moment to collect her thoughts before continuing.

“After the trial period came my first interaction with Lord Saud. There are certain similarities with my mother in their appearance and manifestation of their presence in the Force, yet that is where the similarities end. Saud’s presence is coaxing, calming and yet testing. Provocative almost, emboldening to some like myself and without doubt threatening to others. There's a lot more than this, yet in my tired state I can't actually put my thoughts into words.

Standing ground in front of her is merely the first step though, and the difference of pressure between the first and the second is massive. She is skilled with words to the point where she can lull you into a sense of security and then a split second later she is on the offensive. This is an individual who is not to be underestimated, and I have no intention of failing the test which is put up for me.”

Annoyance had started to seep into her posture as she placed the glass down and cautiously pushed herself up with the tips of her fingers. The young noble was limping quite noticeably as she took two steps, her left leg almost being dragged with her.

“It’s too late or rather too early for me to scream in frustration, but if I could, I would. Look at this! For typhojem knows how long we’ve been defending and fighting on that wretched planet which is so very important, against those creatures, Taurill. They’re very much frustrating to deal with as an Acolyte, seeing as while I might have the proper equipment to deal with them, we are not allowed to use that equipment except for one particular mission, recently.

That exact mission is where this wound happened. I, Apprentice Khatatas and Amythia were told to defend a location. Trying to create distance between myself and the horde that went to overwhelm us, I stumbled over..something. I honestly do not know what it was. Who cares. Result was that one of the disgusting creatures pinned me to the ground and pierced my leg with its stinger. We managed to hold the location, so objective complete. In our recent mission we went to exterminate the source and thus the Taurill should not be a threat anymore.

Now I do have to wait, because while I can endure the pain and have endured worse, I would like my leg to be fully functional before I go to complete this task which I was assigned."

Limping towards the device she clicked it off, the gentle crackling of the recording fading away alongside the sound of an exhausted sigh.