Sherrena's Holo Diary.

[Joslae]

**//Datapad//
**Holo Diary: Entry**
 
//Password: **********

**A Female dark haired, brown-greenish Eyed figure would flicker and appear, there would be no specific back round indicating of her location, only her person, constantly pacing back and forth, keeping a moment of silence, pondering to herself. She seems to be rather alone , whereas found an opportunity to engage with a holo diary, wishing to express her point of view and idealism.**
 
**Shortly After, the Female figure would begin speaking, in a rather Known Noble Tone to a few, the figure would flicker from time to time, indicating a rather mediocre signal.**

"Things appear to be..like this.."

**The figure would be seen taking a few moments, clearing her throat, exhaling and inhaling. She would proceed to talk shortly after...**

" I always believed that there is a balance, a balance on which we seek to grasp on, hold it, keep it, and thus move forwards with it. For the greater good. "
 
"House Reign, had all sorts of teachings for that kind of balance. That kind of peace, that if kept, we may be able to establish a better future, a better path for ourselves. Seek to find the light within the darkness that surrounds us...And Yet......I believed in all these, for I always seemed to have a will for balance, for peace, for glory. My Father, the Lord of House Reign wasn't always a distant man. Before Mother died he always laughed, it was all he did, it was obvious he enjoyed life more than anyone else back then. We were truly happy and I still remember to this day, thinking of how unfortunate it is for some people to never have such happiness in their lives...I remember wishing for wars to finish, for there to finally be peace within this galaxy formed from all the chaos...."

"....It only takes one single moment, for someone to open their eyes, and see the true world, the one we really live in, the one that someone has to adapt in order to survive. With all the meanings the word -adapt- has. I still remember every single thing. The Invasion. The War, the destruction, My mother's death. My father's rage fallen upon me and my sister. The abuse. The Pain. Everything.....And still...I always told myself to hold on. Be strong for my little sister. She would need me the most later on, I knew that..."
"I had a clear mind. A good set of thinking I'd assume too, I was never blinded by my judgement, or hatred upon people. I always looked the better picture, even for my father, I knew there was a chance for him to return back to his good old self. I had....hope."

"My Father decided cruelty and surviving is the only way we can actually become strong, keep a good name, adapting towards an environment that, neither one of us were familiar on to...A long story follows, of How that time period of my life darkened the most..I witnessed my sister dying by the hands of my father, who thought she was unworthy, yes..she was sick..I know she was. But unworthy? because she might die anytime soon? You decide she is unworthy father? And you forced me..to watch you slit your daughter's throat. I went insane."

" That was the first time in my life I ever felt true rage. I felt a big change taking place within me. All I could think of was that -that- man needs to die. He needs to suffer. He had unlocked something inside of me, I never thought I was capable of ever having..."
 
"And then..I remember the very first day I arrived on this Power base "House Horuset" , we had heard stories of the past, great and scary stories that you tell children when  they don't want to eat their food, or sleep at the appropriate given time. I remember stepping out of the shuttle, the first true sith figure I witnessed was a man, he had yellow eyes , I recall that, He didn't tell me his name back then, he introduced me to a ship that you can easily get lost to " Th'asidra ". And that is where I met true -Hell-. My Very first spar was with an Alien, actually a rather proud one, he had white hair and his eyes were glowing.. He introduced me to all sorts of ways of adapting, where to get all the needed information and archives upon the ship..
I thought of him as a potential ally back then, I was alone, on a new environment on space..I didn't have a lot of options.."

"I was not as hateful as I am now. Then again, Like I mentioned earlier, One must adapt to survive. A lot happened, I got beat up, broken, hated, talked about, trapped, betrayed and the list really goes on and on..
I guess all these led to me plotting, and hurting those around me. I figured why would I allow them to hurt me, when I can just do it first, and get it over with. I rarely showed any acolyte I respected them, and I must say, I did respect , and still -do- respect...a few...."

"Throughout my journey here so far, I've met a handful of new additions to the power base. A lot of liars, and manipulative wannabes. Examples? Acolyte Lyana. She is the definition of boring and has nothing better to do than go to her superiors and cry of how amazingly talented she is and how she's going to go far in this House, Ha, Acolytes like her don't even deserve to talk. Honestly she would be a far better addition if she was a mute, I'm sure she would gather more attention then, than right now if that was the case."

" There's also acolyte Natellia, I'll be frank she is not an acolyte you'd be pleased to see everyday with that looks, and her comebacks still need work..I used to hate her a great deal, she actually was one of the first acolytes I got into a fight with, back then she only wanted to steal from me, there have been times I wondered if things had gone differently, perhaps we wouldn't be in that situation, yet again everything happens for a reason. However, I must say these past few weeks I've actually came to understand why she acts the way she does, it could be just me, or perhaps I'm getting soft?...ha..nice one! I've came to a conclusion that she is..not..entirely bad after all. Then..she went and disrespected the Neophyte..that indicated how stupid she can be sometimes. I guess now she has to deal with that too, Oh well.."

" A few other acolytes such as Rendvir are not even going to be mentioned, Frankly? I could really just sit down on a chair, take out my list of all the things his 'superiority' has made him believe he can do, but I can't waste such precious time talking about him. It's really just meaningless. If someone wants to prove themselves to another peer, they do it -alone-..Period."

" Lastly , There's Acolyte Leive, she falls on the last yet a different category of the acolytes I've seen within this House so far..She's an alien, A twil'lek..meaning she has to struggle more to gain respect from both her peers and her superiors. She certainly had my respect. I respected her, For her mindset, her skillset, her idealism, I truly believe she'll actually earn the tittle of apprentice way before Natellia ever reaches the front door. Sorry Nat, It's just facts......Even with her breaking my datapad by 'accident' , I'd still drink my tea with her. I mean..I would have done the same exact thing, were it me in her position."
 
"....That's all...for now.."


** The holofigure of the young Alderaanian girl would flicker and dissapear from the frequency, allowing silence to fall right after, whoever decided to take a look at this, would see that she only mentions a short time of her past and her peers, nothing of her superiors was given above, at this holo recording.**

**Holo Diary: Exit
//**Passward:**********
**End of transmission
//File Placed Back.

[Joslae]

Holo Diary chapter #3:

//FILE: Open
//**Access: Allowed
Password:***********
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Loading..
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File #3 Displayed:.

*The dark haired figure would appear once again , slowly walking back and forth, contemplating her thoughts, the background is not visible, there is quiet, whatsoever, and for the first 5 minutes the silence keeps going, as the woman paces back and forth, seemingly thinking of what there is to be said on today's diary recording. The figure would appear very different, a cruel gaze, yet the fancy ponytail and the buns that the particular person had on the previous recording would obviously not be on her anymore, the hairstyle would seem different, hair still dark yet let down and much shorter, revealing a mysterious yet a prettier version of the figure, allowing her hair to fall to her face, the hair on her left side occasionally put behind her ear, the eyes still yellow, indicating corruption, that part has not changed, yet the bruises that were visible on the previous recording had with time faded, revealing a much cleaner face than before, as for the rest of the body, the figure would be wearing acolyte robes, so that wouldn't be visible..for now..*

*A cough is heard, indicating that the figure is clearing her throat , as indeed, she turns over to look at her audience attaching her hands forwards and down to the front of her waste-line area, seemingly ready to speak...*

" Dear..Burn Book.."

" A great amount of things have changed from the last time I managed to record another chapter..I've rather learnt to be more dedicated, I've learnt to be more observant, and silent, some of you may think how does that benefit a person? How does it help? Well, It's easier to play dumb and allow the others to talk first about something you -already- know and yet...they don't know that now...do they? By allowing them to think you know of nothing that occurs they give you the chance to tell their own stories, and You should know, listening to multiple sided stories will certainly turn to your own benefit later in time..The amount of times I've benefited from turning few of my peers against one another..Watching them fight, struggle, debate on something that I probably might already know the answer to.."

*The figure would sigh and pause for a brief second , seemingly continuing shortly after..*

" For example, Acolyte Johran..He is the kind of acolyte who dims himself above everyone and everything, the kind of acolyte who demands attention , mostly from his peers, why? could be because he lacks self confidence, or perhaps he is aware of the fact that he has failed to prove worthy just yet..He always seems to ask irrelevant questions, Like ..Johran seriously do you believe I don't already know of how obviously close you are with acolyte Natellia? I may not know of what you discuss and believe me , I don't really care either..But I'm suspicious, I always am, they could be allies, were I to find evidence, Apprentice Tashha would be very pleased..interesting indeed..Or Perhaps that other time, while I was casually drinking my tea, and you came up to me asking yet another irrelevant question because you somehow thought you could mind trick, or fool me..news flash, I was raised on a House and under a variety of luxuries..Studying and reading led to me broadening my horizons, mentally and physically...you can't..play with me. But feel free to try. It's entertaining, really..."

*The figure would begin pacing back and forth once again, turning to speak a few seconds after this small pause..*

" Training, has come to be like breathing to me. The amount of times I've used my blade, or my abilities, the amount of knowledge I've gathered from quite a few tasks given by my superiors..I've been working very hard, and I still have yet a trial to focus onto..I'm not going to get lazy..I'll never allow -that- word to appear on my dictionary...
While We're on the 'training' subject..I remember a lesson..it wasn't so long ago, and it was to help us advance and learn more about the force barriers, hosted by Apprentice Anabelle..and I remember..on my first attempt..while I was concentrating..I felt this..rage, this ..I can't explain it, I couldn't know what was happening but I felt like my abilities were maxed , like I was ten times stronger, and while everyone else concentrated on a weak natural barrier , I unleashed the energy on a concentrated one..but it didn't end then, shortly after I felt like i was being drained, all that power..all this energy, completely gone, again the source was unknown...Yes..that's right...-was-...A few days after Apprentice Valkara admitted it was her who did this, she told me she was practicing, it seemed rather reasonable , but I'm not yet that convinced..Why would an apprentice bother to tone up my skills only to later take them off..Was she trying to do something? probably..And I believe it was not just training..I'll leave it like that for now, I'll focus on proving myself, on proving worthy and pass my trials. This is my number one priority currently."

*The figure would once again stop pacing , as she'd appear to raise her hand on to her head, using three of her fingers on her chin calmly rubbing it, upon stopping she'd turn to attach her hands together and fold them up, turning to speak shortly after, once again..*

" I've also managed to complete all the tasks given so far, from researching.. to field missions.. to retrieving datapads with important intel..to being trusted with ancient tablets by my superiors whilst on a quest, It is very important to me that I'm dimmed worthy enough to carry important artifacts, even for a short time it is an honor..I make sure I keep my gaze on them and the road, I allow -no- mistakes..Neither shall I ever. I only know that I'll keep training, working, fighting, studying, proving myself, and this will not stop if one day I'm chosen by a possible master, oh no, this will only be my beginning, for there to be power there must be strength, and I believe knowledge is also a part of this ' strength', a very important one too.."

" I've also learnt that No one should be quick to run into assumptions. That is for the best, not being able to underestimate anyone now, I'll never be surprised if anyone suddenly tries to sneak up on me, and my eyes will be much more open, no one shall be able to manipulate me."

" By doing so, I came to realize my assumptions for acolyte Lyana were wrong, yes, she is short tempered but so are most acolytes that are heading to become sith, a few purebloods too, She is smart, and she herself has boundaries and honor..I respect that. She also seems to have beef with acolyte Vinitia, It's not my concern and I shall be no part of this, I don't care.."

"And then there's acolyte Vinitia..now I never saw her as a possible enemy, no, she herself is also quite promising..but not so bright..considering the day Apprentice Tashha gave us an assignment: Whoever spells the beans on who's allied with who wins trial points... Vinitia was quick to come to my way and attempt and ask me something..did i bother? no, therefore I don't know what she wanted.. I can not allow myself to be in the center of this -kind- of attention. I must focus on myself, I must focus on my goals and only my goals for now. I'm suspicious nevertheless..She's getting trained and it's not on her own..a while back she could not even use telepathy ..Now she seems to contact me from time to time..do I answer? Irrelevant, and no...But my memory does not fool me, I don't forget details..Other than that I've yet to see how she does on the trials, I can't be certain if she'll pass or not, I do hope so..What?..I can't drink my tea alone, It's too boring..."

" Acolyte Natellia remains the same, She is also pushing herself to her limits, still wanting to prove herself..Good..stopping means quitting..and I never thought of Natellia as a quitter, or lazy... She should get a nose job tho.."

*The girl would pause, indicating she's almost done now, turning to look directly at the holocam now..*

" It's rather simple..Just because I'm sitting in the corner of the couch, drinking my tea, smirking on your comments and thoughts, playing dumb, or asking you to repeat your own questions or even confusing those of inferior knowledge of basic with mind tricks, does not mean I'm underestimating you..I'm just amusing myself..And I'm enjoying it thus far..."

*The figure would giggle , turning to smile tilting her head slightly to her left, her hands would be seen reaching out to grab something..and two seconds later the hands would re-appear on the video, holding a mug of tea, she'd raise the one hand locking the mug on it too, towards the camera, seemingly 'toasting' with it, turning to place it -very- close to her lips , like she's ready to take a sip..but -right- before she does so..her gaze would seem to refocus on the camera..*

" Cheers...for now.."

*The figure would take a sip right after saying that, and the holo video would end, with the figure flickering and disappearing shortly after..*

//FILE: Closed..
/Password:**********
//File placed back..
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Loading..
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/File: Access Approved
EXIT..

[Joslae]

CHAPTER #4

**//Datapad//
**Holo Diary: Entry**

//Password: **********

** The figure that's been seen on the other chapters would once again appear, her hair a -little- bit longer, but still seen as cut off really. The girl would once again begin pacing back and forth, slow balanced steps, wouldn't really make much of a noise either. The background once again was not really visible, only the woman pacing was, for now.. It seems as she didn't want to reveal of where she currently is, one would assume she is doing it for security purposes, there might be other reasons but one has to know the girl too well, or think too much...The figure, wouldn't stop, as she'd seem to have a mug of tea on her one hand..she'd place her other hand to it as well, holding it softly , as she'd at once stop making steps..and turn her fierce gaze to the camera, recording every bit of it.*

".. I guess I don't have much to say on this chapter..Only a few things..."

* The girl would proceed to take a small sip of her tea..turning her gaze back at the camera shortly after*

" The trials are finally upon us again.. I must say I'm both nervous and excited.. I don't fear of the results..I'm actually looking forward to them. So far I keep seeing notes..positive notes, which is a good thing one would assume..is it enough for me whatsoever? . No. I keep seeing that..term .. ' Unsuccessful' And it's worse than Natelia's face. I should work on that term. Good notes indicate good results. I want excellent results."

"Good is just not enough. I keep thinking..' Damn..why did I have to take the scepter..why didn't I force the other object out of Matentus's hands..He was fast.... And I was quick to judge what to take...Oh well.. Next time....."

" My thinking is simple..if they -think- you're stupid and weak..they probably won't expect you to force objects out of their hands..or their lives out of their bodies, when no one else is looking..Although the second scenario is kind of more risky, especially after what Apprentice Tashha told us at the library.."

* The girl would smile and nod at the camera..taking one more sip of her drink*

" Now..enough chit-chat..let's get to the chase..some examples..perhaps.."

" Let's begin with Acolyte Lao. The New Twil'lek. She is smart...But not that smart..- of course - I already knew she could speak a bit of Basic.. I told her the very first day I introduced myself to her.. " You're either dumb, or very smart." ..But now..Little does she know that the veil is off. And that she managed to speak Basic fluently and in front of superiors.. She can no longer hide behind words, this has both it's negatives and positives.. She might be noticed more.. Being able to surprise everyone, even me a little bit, when she managed to speak Basic -that- fluently on the library, it might give her more attention than before.. The negative part is that , this attention is not really going to be the good kind of it. She is smart. And she knows how to hide. She might become a target to some really quick...As for me?.. I don't really care about her, I only care about me."

" Next up we have a new addition to the family..One some of us did not expect.. Another pureblood that is..this one seems to be known as...Amythia.., She seems to care little about anyone else but herself..probably her family too, not sure.. She is not very special..but one thing I know for sure, is that she loves attention, and she gets -very- angry when she doesn't get it, or when you ignore her.. I know how to play with her from now long, that's also another thing that is for sure.."

* The girl would giggle, as she'd clear her throat..her expression changing to neutral quite fast too..*

" So..acolyte Sara died...on the trials..some assumed it was from debris..or because the tomb collapsed. Oh..what's that? Oh you're so Right!........Bullshit.-

" I could go on and on about impressions I have from new and old members I've come face to face with.....But at the end of the day, I don't actually care much about them.. You'd probably wonder why I'm standing here explaining and talking about acolytes, or people in general..But...at the same time you're wondering that..you should also wonder, why..you took all this time out of your calendar to see this.."

* The girl would turn to place the mug somewhere next to the camera, she'd have to come a bit closer for that, and the camera would lose signal of her for a bit..but she'd re-appear to it a few seconds after, clapping her hands softly twice.*

" I have nothing more for now really..There are going to be more trials, We're just getting started..we'll see how this goes. I know that I should do more than just my best, I know that I should give more than just what it takes. Which is exactly what I'm planning on doing..While the others focus on their...'debris'....I'll focus on proving myself. And keep being careful."

**Holo Diary: End**

//Password: **********
//Transmission*Ends.//
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