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29-04-2023, 10:21 PM
The following is Natellia’s personal journal that she had written during her first few days in House Horuset.
I was born to a minor noble house on Alderaan. My father was the head and my mother married into the family. I had two older brothers, Nario and Jhûn. Nario, being the eldest, would inherrit my father’s title while Jhûn would marry some Organa girl in order to strengthen the relationship between our houses. My father was many things, but above all else he was loyal to House Organa. The halls of our estate crawled with Organa dignitaries and allies. Our school teachers and martial arts trainers bore the name Organa and it was rumoured that the old fencing teacher was once a top officer in Organa’s military. It’s safe to say that my father wanted us to be shaped in their image rather than his own. We were taught the most difficult subjects and given advanced fencing training. There was little to no regard for our wellbeing or wishes. The only person who truly cared was my mother, but she would not dare go against my father. Me and my brothers would often spend our free time with the servants and underlings that lived in our estate. They didn’t care that I was young and gave me their alcoholic beverages anyway. We played games and music often until very late in the evening. Those are some of the fondest memories that I have of my youth.
I think I’ve started to realize that I was different when I was about seven. I sat at the foot of a large tree watching a nest of recently hatched birds on a branch above me. One of the babies wobbled out of the nest and fell from it, plunging towards the ground. I held out my hand and pictured in my mind that I slowed the bird’s descent… and that did happen. The little baby bird survived the drop and was returned to its nest by the mother. In the months and years following that occurence, I became increasingly more aware of my surroundings. I could see things that others couldn’t and would know things before they happened. I think that prompted my parents to renege on their promise of teaching me about the Jedi. It is part of the reason why I was so blissfully ignorant of my gift. Part of me wishes I had remained ignorant, but fate had different plans. One day, a delegation of House Organa visited our estate to check on an agricultural project that my father was setting up. As per custom, me and my brothers would all come up and greet the visitors. What the Organas did not mention was that there was a human Jedi with them. Dressed in his very distinct brown robes, he was hard to miss. Of course, I stood out like a sore thumb to him. We exchanged a brief look, after which he took my parents aside. By that night, I was taught the existence of the jedi and the force and told that I would be leaving my home for the Jedi Academy on Tython the next day. I guess I was too stunned and blinded by my indoctrination, because I did not resist in anyway. That was, of course, until the day itself came. I don’t think I’ve ever cried as much. My brothers had to force me on the shuttle and the personal guard that went with me almost had to restrain me. They hoped I would calm down once I was on my way. The opposite happened. I only became more angry, which culminated in me knocking out the guards and the pilot and steering the shuttle back to Alderaan. When I came back home, it was well past midnight.
My brothers were waiting for me at the shuttleport. Their quarters were very close and they likely heard the shuttle landing. They barred my entrance into the estate and we exchanged verbal tirades until I finally snapped. I took hold of my vibroblade and lunged at them. Now, understand that I am 5’7 with a meager 132 pounds on me while my brothers stood at a whopping 6’4 with the musculature that could make anyone cower in fear. It did not bother me one bit. The longer the fight went on, the more I felt that that thing they called the force began fueling me and making me stronger. My brothers were in top physical condition and expert duelists, but they did not have the force. Their defeat was inevitable and I think they knew it. I impaled Jhûn’s stomach and sent him flying against a pillar. Judging by the sounds I heard coming from his prone body, he was dying… rather fast too. I was too caught up in my frenzy to notice. Nario kept retreating and retreating until I had him pinned against the wall. I still vividly remember slamming his blade out of his hands and seeing him hold up his hands in surrender. My blade cut a straight line across his gut. As he dropped to his knees, I… began to see more clearly. I saw him staring wide-eyed at me, as if he couldn’t believe what just happened… and truth be told, I didn’t know or believe what just happened either. I held him in my arms as he died. I clutched his dead body for… I think five minutes or so. At that point, my crying had woken up the entire estate. My father rushed in with a contingent of guards and came upon a scene straight out of a horror show. Our exchange was brief. I had to leave. I ran back to the shuttle and flew it away from Alderaan. What was my plan, you may wonder? I planned to die in some forsaken sector in the outer rim. I contemplated crashing my ship somewhere and making it look like an accident. I had also prepared a noose in case I wanted to hang myself and one of the guards I had previously knocked out carried a blaster on him. I’d use that if I wanted something quick.
But once again, fate had different plans for me. My ship ran out of juice around a system my NaviComputer did not recognize. As the systems slowly started to die, I too waited calmly for my end. As I sat in the cockpit looking out over the vast canvass of stars, I saw a shuttle drop out of hyperspace right in front of me. It wasn’t from the Republic. It was Imperial. I had seen that logo so much it was practically engraved into my memory. My initial reaction was fear. I had heard the horror stories of the invasion and the civil war. I had heard stories of the multiple atrocities committed by imperial troopers and Sith. I would much rather die than to be taken captive and be paraded around like some kind of trophy. As the imperial shuttle started boarding, I was preparing the noose to off myself… but as the noose sat around my neck, I heard a voice speaking to me in the back of my mind. It felt intrusive… unnatural… but at the same time very soothing. It urged me to calm and so I did. I waited quietly for the boarding party to come and when it did… I wasn’t met with a sabertoothed, bloodthirsty and flesh-hungry sith monster. I was met with a young female human, barely a year older than me. We talked for about two hours. During that time, she explained to me the lies the Republic, the Jedi and even my own family made me believe. I suddenly realized that all the wars against the Republic and its citizens was justified. I finally… saw things clearly. The talk concluded with an offer to join the Sith. My stomach churned and my hesitation was noticeable… but I accepted. It was the first time that I felt the choice was made by me alone and not someone else…
I was taken aboard their shuttle. Over the next few weeks, I went from prison to prison. I received beating after beating, shocking after shocking and lashing after lashing. I developed a very considerable tolerance for pain during that time and I think that helped me tremendously during my time on Korriban. I detested the world about as much as the overseers detested me. Not only was I an alien, but I was also a ‘Traitor’ and a ‘republic rat’. The tirades were constant and the beatings became about as common as the breakfast I was forced to eat alone in a corner. I became numb to it all. Words stopped hurting me and my body was already so damaged that I did not care for anything the overseers might end up throwing at me. One overseer particularly enjoyed lashing my arms, while another cut upon my abdomen with a rusty knife at least twice a day. I was received lightning in the face at least three times and have broken about every bone in my body at least once. In spite of every obstacle thrown in my way, I advanced through the academy. I never received praise, of course, but I consistently performed above average for someone with my supposed disadvantage. I think that the better I did, the more the overseers felt the need to beat so I never forgot who I was. They prayed on my latent feelings of remorse and regret and made me relive killing my brothers over and over again. It made me fearful of ever becoming attached to something or someone again, as I knew it could be taken from me at the snap of a finger. It made cynical, pragmatic and rather cold.
House Horuset was the first opportunity to leave Korriban that presented itself to me. I took it with both hands… and now I am here, sitting behind a desk with tears rolling down my cheeks because I can’t even stop being a little bitch. I expect much of this contingent and its teachings. I hope it will provide me with what I need to become Sith.
Discord:
lord_saltaeon
