"Tave iyutrekyr iv Zia"

[Caffeline]

[The following entries are typed on a datapad with a standard encryption lock. Far more accessible if someone were to steal or look through, though the entries themselves are passcode-protected]

The group survived the tunnels. We even managed to map more of them out, and bring in some of the aliens for interrogation and processing.

No matter where I've looked, I have not seen a hint of that poison I encountered back when we first arrived on Bon Sor. So I decided to try and find some for myself. Ri Atirai permitted a trio of scientists to go. I was actually surprised at how many people came for my outing. Ri Tzihra Kota, Ri Wini Wo, and the Corporal, as well as Zedani. If she survives to ascend, I'll apply a name to her too. Ri Tzihra Kota's Drakes came on their order, as well as a few huge walking lizards. I heard the name 'trandoshan'... they're very intimidating up close.

I admit we did not know the location well. Barely any scouting had taken place there. The group went into the tunnels, and almost immediately one of Ri Tzihra Kota's men was dragged out with a red carpet of blood following.

I've killed before. Intentionally. But...seeing a man bleed out to death in front of me when I was trying to stop the bleeding... it's different somehow. Ri Tzihra Kota was unhappy. It was not my direct fault, but it was still during my mission that the man expired. I now owe them.

...with the amount of favours and debt I owe across the board, perhaps I should seek advice from the Banking Clan. Then again, they'd just charge me interest.

...

Stokodi asked me about the endurance gauntlet I went through during the journey here. She was keen to ask Ri Satwas for such training herself, until she realised that she wouldn't actually be able to rest during it. Then she backtracked and said something about asking him after we are finished on Bon Sor.

Why wait for training when you are in need of it now? Fool.

Unfortunately for her, Ri Radona Wima overheard this and took issue with the self-acknowledgement of laziness. Just more proof in my eyes that Stokodi would not survive the training, even if she did request it.

...

Last night the powerbase set out to exact revenge for the assault we endured last week. A whole brigade of soldiers, armoured vehicles and a squad called the Silver Flame. The group I was in was sent through the tunnels that the scientists had gone to. No evidence of traps though, until right at the end.

We were almost shot to pieces when we came to the end of the tunnel. The Republic had emplacements ready and waiting for us. Ri Zirari Wo and Ri Atuzirsi Wo were yelling at the troops, sending them endlessly onward until the Republic broke. The other acolyte and I were pressed against the walls to evade the blaster fire as well as to keep out of the way of the troops.

When we finally stepped out though..

Growing up in the Empire, we are told and taught that War is glorious and a noble cause. That each must do their duty and be willing to lay down their lives for the Glory of the Empire. We are instructed to see victory as crushing those who oppose us under our feet as we walk towards a new dawn for the Empire.

What I saw there was neither noble nor glorious.

I saw men in their hundreds exploding like fireworks. Scattering themselves like confetti and raining down upon their killers.

Pieces of those which were once men strewn like litter across a cratered, wasted jungle. I heard the crunching of spare fingers under my boots as I walked. The stench of death and blood was as noxious as fumes. Even through my helmet, I could taste iron and copper on my lips. What had been jungle just an hour ago is now swamp fed with the blood of thousands. I saw Ri Atuzirsi Wo casually kick a helmet out of his way like a huttball. From the sound of it landing, it wasn't empty. It was too caked in mud for me to tell if it was originally Republic or Imperial.

I don't think it would have mattered either way.

Stories of War are glorious.

The reality is not.

War is just chaos and murder on an industrial scale. No doubt when I am more powerful and useful than a mere acolyte underfoot, I will be able to taste the glory and victory for myself. Will it be different from the taste of coppery mud?

I've tried to help out at the medical tents when I can, but there is still work to do. Streets to clear of rubble. Areas to scout. Defenses to bolster.

It never stops. And it's never enough.