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21-04-2023, 12:46 PM
((originally posted by Hirak Sanguinis, February 2017))
Entry 6: Mental Defenses and Force Apparitions
*Hirak walks into the frame, and brings up a chair. He sits down panting heavily, worn out with dark circles underneath his eyes. One hand moves up to his left eye and rubs it. He frowns deeply and snarls at sudden pain.*
"A lesson learnt from attempting to bridge the gap between two minds and not raising your defenses. My mind has been plagued by visions of Lord Rai, the one known as Vindictos, the fallen lover of Lord Saud a long time ago. He was an Arkanian and... I've learnt a lot.
I see visions of him. His pale pallid face appearing before me. I can't get these thoughts out of my mind. One simply mistake of not protecting my mind... how was I to know he was this strong? I knew nothing until I tapped in. I hate making mistakes. I hate them, I hate them, I hate them!
And now, the Lorekeeper... very intrusive as always... claims I could lose my sanity from this. I could lose my memories in favour of Vindictos' own, I could become the Arkanian in a Rattataki shell. How... disgusting. I've barely even had my own history!"
*Hirak roars with rage and picks up something off scene, a chair perhaps, with the force before launching it over to the other side making it crash loudly into the wall. He'd snarl, then kick the original chair he was sitting on away to the side completely overtaken by his rage.*
"At leats the Lorekeeper was useful and offered me some solace. No doubt I'll be indebted to her and that will present it's own problems. She'll attempt to gain Lord Saud's aid in removing the memories from my mind into a safer vassal so they can be stored and viewed, although I doubt Lord Saud will be told of this fact... maybe I'll retain some in my own mind? For now, I've been instructed to store what little I can in my own holocron, the one the Echani gave me for the previous trial. I can only store singular thoughts at a time, in very small amounts, but it does seem to lessen the blow..."
*Hirak breathes in deeply and appears to calm down. He then fetches the chair he kicked over, leaning down to pick it up and then sit upon it once more.*
"Besides this, we had a visit from Darth Vipion after an incident involving the Massassi. I don't want to go into too much detail other than the fact that Massassi are very dumb but brutish and too trusting of their tribe. Arsus wouldn't have suffered the way he did if he had had the foresight to listen to me and not invoke the wrath of Darth Horuset's sister, who in turn must've told Darth Horuset who proceeded to truly smash the pair of them. My Rattataki survival instincts outdo theirs, seemingly.
Regardless, in other recent news I met Lord Tokiai and Raeniu's father for the first time. It was... terrifying. Such a presence, it felt wrong and almost too disgusting to bear yet oddly comforting. I felt this hatred, this anger was understandable. I could relate to it. I could seethe in it and bathe in such a power, it was almost addictive. I could barely move from it.
Just goes to show really the strength of a Darth, the fear bred from it was intoxicating, I could almost smell it from the others. Sadly, Theran ruined it all by making Lord Saud order me out of the room. Clean up blood... is that what I'm truly worth to them now? Aljo I'd expect but me?"
*Grunts and rubs a pale hand across the top of his forehead, feeling the streaked tattoos on the side of his head softly and slowly.*
"Things will be shifting in the house soon, the norm will turn upside down. I can't wait for the chaos.
End transmission."
*Hirak would not move but stare down at the ground and sigh, as if finally finding some rest for what might seem like a very long time. The Holorecording waits a few moments before shutting off, draining the blue light down into the device once more.*
Entry 6: Mental Defenses and Force Apparitions
*Hirak walks into the frame, and brings up a chair. He sits down panting heavily, worn out with dark circles underneath his eyes. One hand moves up to his left eye and rubs it. He frowns deeply and snarls at sudden pain.*
"A lesson learnt from attempting to bridge the gap between two minds and not raising your defenses. My mind has been plagued by visions of Lord Rai, the one known as Vindictos, the fallen lover of Lord Saud a long time ago. He was an Arkanian and... I've learnt a lot.
I see visions of him. His pale pallid face appearing before me. I can't get these thoughts out of my mind. One simply mistake of not protecting my mind... how was I to know he was this strong? I knew nothing until I tapped in. I hate making mistakes. I hate them, I hate them, I hate them!
And now, the Lorekeeper... very intrusive as always... claims I could lose my sanity from this. I could lose my memories in favour of Vindictos' own, I could become the Arkanian in a Rattataki shell. How... disgusting. I've barely even had my own history!"
*Hirak roars with rage and picks up something off scene, a chair perhaps, with the force before launching it over to the other side making it crash loudly into the wall. He'd snarl, then kick the original chair he was sitting on away to the side completely overtaken by his rage.*
"At leats the Lorekeeper was useful and offered me some solace. No doubt I'll be indebted to her and that will present it's own problems. She'll attempt to gain Lord Saud's aid in removing the memories from my mind into a safer vassal so they can be stored and viewed, although I doubt Lord Saud will be told of this fact... maybe I'll retain some in my own mind? For now, I've been instructed to store what little I can in my own holocron, the one the Echani gave me for the previous trial. I can only store singular thoughts at a time, in very small amounts, but it does seem to lessen the blow..."
*Hirak breathes in deeply and appears to calm down. He then fetches the chair he kicked over, leaning down to pick it up and then sit upon it once more.*
"Besides this, we had a visit from Darth Vipion after an incident involving the Massassi. I don't want to go into too much detail other than the fact that Massassi are very dumb but brutish and too trusting of their tribe. Arsus wouldn't have suffered the way he did if he had had the foresight to listen to me and not invoke the wrath of Darth Horuset's sister, who in turn must've told Darth Horuset who proceeded to truly smash the pair of them. My Rattataki survival instincts outdo theirs, seemingly.
Regardless, in other recent news I met Lord Tokiai and Raeniu's father for the first time. It was... terrifying. Such a presence, it felt wrong and almost too disgusting to bear yet oddly comforting. I felt this hatred, this anger was understandable. I could relate to it. I could seethe in it and bathe in such a power, it was almost addictive. I could barely move from it.
Just goes to show really the strength of a Darth, the fear bred from it was intoxicating, I could almost smell it from the others. Sadly, Theran ruined it all by making Lord Saud order me out of the room. Clean up blood... is that what I'm truly worth to them now? Aljo I'd expect but me?"
*Grunts and rubs a pale hand across the top of his forehead, feeling the streaked tattoos on the side of his head softly and slowly.*
"Things will be shifting in the house soon, the norm will turn upside down. I can't wait for the chaos.
End transmission."
*Hirak would not move but stare down at the ground and sigh, as if finally finding some rest for what might seem like a very long time. The Holorecording waits a few moments before shutting off, draining the blue light down into the device once more.*
