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29-04-2023, 11:33 PM
The holorecording would flicker to life to show Rikki, again. The alien in the display appeared laid on her side, her head propped on her left arm, the hand lost amongst black curls that now trailed down just past her shoulders. In her right, a wine glass half full with a deep liquid nestled. Her expression sat a calm neutral, though she'd inhale and exhale lightly, before making to speak.
"This is Apprentice Syndathik.." she'd at first trail off, before huffing faintly in amusement, bobbing her browridges with a wry smile, "And first and foremost, I am fucking tired.." she'd chuckle gently, going to raise the glass to her lips to sip the drink, lowering it again to continue.
"I ended up being an Overseer for.. nigh on seven months. And I'd wanted to quit after less than three. But we were at war, and Sith Kelsa had more than the one duty. Nyrithe left and we needed another. And then of course, just as we returned from deployment to Dubrillion, months later.. he was reassigned. And I was suddenly the most experienced person left, so.." she'd sigh, deeply. "...well, someone had to make the karking trials go…" she'd purse her lips softly, taking another sip of wine in pause, her forefinger beginning to tap lightly on the glass in thought as she lowered it.
"But I have broken that chain. A fair few of the pool have ascended, now. Two, to Sith Zarchas - to Elias," she'd smile softly, "Who has ascended himself. Unchallenged, at that, and in perfect time to claim his choices - though he had a fight for one.. one he chose the grounds of like a true tactician and won for it. Lord Saltaeon took Uhlan, which I viewed as the best choice for him, and of that pool for her, too. Sith Kelsa.. took Cuvao," she'd shake her head gently, "The heretic. While the 'why' is not beyond me.. I've yet to decide whether I perceive it as a wise choice. Then again we are not exactly brimming with options, and he has yet to convince me to take the place.." she'd huff in soft amusement, "Though ironically, that’s not for lack of recent trying."
The alien's gaze would drift back to her wine, a sip taken before she began to simply swill it lightly as she spoke.
"Temekel put it well. She is a Vipion back from the dead, more alive than half the people who were already here. I am glad the trials happened, but, as she described the state, I became my work more than my progress. Things stopped moving. And after I quit they started all at once again. Moderation is perhaps a lesson finally learnt.." she'd smirk slightly, gaze flickering back to the recorder with an 'innocent' shrug of her shoulder, "...for now, at any rate. Time shall tell if it holds."
The wine would fall still once more, then, the smirk shifting to a soft smile, a melancholic hint to it, to start. "I found out it was Wradaii who placed the mine. A while back, now. Kari'da running her mouth of course being the cause. I didn't tell him, but, I did Sotazar, and he spoke to Sith Sarias. She pulled me aside and.. rather than warn me off seeking retaliation.. not that I'd even been set on it.. she simply told me to keep him in one piece but otherwise to use the fire well, as fuel. To not squander it but to wholeheartedly let it burn. And he and I had the best spar we'd had in a while. She solved a dilemma she didn't know I was having." she'd pause to muse, the smile widening into a proper one again, "And I'm crazy proud of Wradaii as of late. He's two initiatives to his name. The forging initiative, I've joined. And through an admission made in the process, Zartilda's got me on finally learning to write." she'd huff in light amusement, bobbing her browridges as she sipped the drink again, lowering it to continue, her gaze shifting back to the recorder as this time a stray curl escaped from behind a horn at the movement.
"On Dubrillion, too, one battle I was put in charge of a flank. I took Wradaii with me, amongst others. We held, barely, exhausted, with the Dark Lord's of all people's assistance at a point, and.. afterwards, he asked me whether he thought we'd avenged him. A question asked amongst bodies strewn in a trench, when the heat of battle was still cloying his blood, and yet still the mind moves back.." she'd sigh gently, "To our friend, dead and cold, a saber wound of his own making to his forehead in a chosen death, lest he be buried alive in the same setting we defended, this time. But did not the last. And despite the proud armoured man that asks, all I saw was the boy in Acolyte robes praying over a corpse in whispers. All I could see was the moment I clapped eyes on him, walking across the field carrying his body." she'd muse, fingers curling a little more around the stem of the wine glass as her gaze drifted back to the drink, "I don't know if we avenged him. If we ever will. But.. we hope we have, I feel.. and that is enough to say we have not. And.. I might yet tell him that." she'd frown gently, inhaling lightly as her gaze shifted to the device again, her left hand briefly shifting to tuck away the escapee curl once more as she brought herself to move on.
"Lexicon dragged on far past when planned, but was eventually won. For most of what remained, though, I could not take part. The House was deployed, and we returned with what can at best only be described as a pyrrhic victory. They tried to disobey, and so were shown fire," her gaze would flicker down to the glass, "Fire that cleanses. Utterly." before it returned as though it had not left. "Whereas Syrbandor bowed. They, remain mostly whole. An asset to the Empire rather than a lack of one for the Republic."
"And so, now, the House works to bring about the renewed prosperity of Sernpidal again. And I've ascension to think of. And.. with recent change.." she'd sigh softly, going to take more than a sip of the wine, continuing after she'd lowered it before her once more, blinking lightly as she did, a forefinger lifting from her glass in gesture as she began. "A chain has either been broken, or disguised, and I cannot tell which it is. Where once a rule that struck as anathema to the individuality of the Sith sat, now an exception is stated. Yet, this way of phrasing is not a new concept to me, rather, I think this is how it should have been all along. But that thought.. was only to disguise the chain. To make it fit, to excuse it, and so I see this.." she'd blink for a longer moment, her head shaking fractionally in a moment of pause before she carried on, "I see this and I have nothing but doubt. It sings of false hope. Of an open goal, only to motivate, never to be attained. As it should be, whether the chain persists or not, yet despite believing it is only now disguised.. I know I will be pulled in. And with each failure, I will improve, I will grow. And so despite the answer.. if the hope is false, it still pulls me the right way. If it is not.." she'd bob her browridges, inhaling lightly before sighing, deeply. "I don't even want to humour that it's not. The 'rule' is enough. It's excuse enough to try even if I expect to fail. And I will hate it so. But, that is nothing new." she'd finish dryly, gaze falling to her right for a few silent moments, before settling on the projector again.
"Anyway. All it really does is give me more cause to ascend well, rather than just ascend. I'd been torn on the choice, up until this. I don't think I'm ready, yet. But all being well between garnering support and collecting tokens, I will be. And I intend on getting a shitload done along the way." she'd chuckle gently, going to sip at the remainder of the wine, her left hand finally freeing itself from her hair, the alien shifting the elbow beneath her to lean on instead, the hand meeting the other on the glass stem, one forefinger tapping against the other seemingly in thought.
“Vliriel didn’t make the slot in the end. She messed up a bit too much all at once. Though in the aftermath, she spent time complaining about how the decision was made off second hand reports, when she’d seemingly sent no first hand ones, so I’ve no sympathy. I’ll keep trying with her, but,” she’d shake her head softly, “No sympathy. She is such the epitome of a dichotomy of potential it hurts. For every upside, sits equally a downside, and she seems forever internally pulled in both directions. Zartilda got the slot instead, amusingly. Likely no longer where she expected to end up, but, she has all the same. And I do see it as a good match, still.”
"...what else, what else." she'd kiss her teeth, before breaking into a grin. "Ah yes. Naile, Kelsa, and.." the grin would fade, somewhat, "A kid called Jaxen. This was.. a tangential lesson for me. But moreso for sure for him. He.." she'd blow air between her lips, finding the words, "Kelsa will never be done learning lessons from overconfidence. Never. He had his eye on this Acolyte, Jaxen Varn. Not from the trials I just ran, but from the ones before," she'd furrow her brow slightly, the ghost of a sad smile reappearing, "The kid was sharp, really sharp, and it wasn't just Kelsa's eye on him. Naile found out, and Naile killed him, to hurt Kelsa, on camera, in the trial, and waltzed into the briefing room after and rolled the boy's head to Kelsa's feet and claimed it was an accident, claiming that his chosen Apprentice had just not been good enough. We didn't point this out to him, at the time, that we'd watched the whole thing. And.. after he ascended, months after, after having him join the branch, too," she smirked widely, "We come to planning the next set, to discussing making the notes from the feeds and I casually tell him, yes, we did indeed watch exactly what actually happened as it happened and I just.." she'd pause, a soft chuckle escaping her lips as as shook her head in amusement, "The absolute horror that dawned on him in that moment was.. really something." she'd huff gently, before going to finish off the wine, her left hand drifting to see the empty glass floated from view, the alien shifting to lean on her front, hands clasping together in front of her for her chin to settle onto. Her scars hadn't changed, though the messy one in the centre of her forehead seemed to house a small welt across it, currently.
"And, not a week after I left, Sith Kelsa elected to return. Nyrithe currently seemingly has a flaming durasteel ramrod up her ass that's turning her into even more of a stumbling political buffoon than usual. Demands left right and centre, carelessly set tasks, reforms that Darth Horuset and Lord Kalkoran did not let stand they were so sloppy." she'd exhale gently, bobbing her browridges, "A task to brutalise an alien. Not a weak Acolyte. Simply, an alien. Handholding, spoonfeeding, testing virtually nothing. That they can follow orders, rather than arrive at the correct conclusions themselves. If this Powerbase is dragged her way.." she'd purse her lips faintly, eyes narrowing in thought, "Seemingly we become blundering fools, then. Blind to anything but the value of blood, rather than the value of the acts committed by those that hold it. We become about the pure and the impure, not the strong and the weak, and the subtle nuance in our philosophy is wasted. I would be wasted." she'd tilt her head lightly, her left horn not quite grazing an arm as curls spilled down over it, her gaze not shifting, "And I'm not in the business of wasting myself. As individuals grow, so should the whole. If the whole begins to regress.." she'd trail, gaze drifting from the camera in thought a few moments, before moving back to it, "I'm patient. I really, really am. And the intervention on the reforms was a step in a more refined direction. Nyrithe's lack of grace simply worries me. At least her and Valeus are perhaps suited in that regard. He is far worse, but.. they sadly seem to more than share the inability to think outside their box. The penchant to take a fact at face value, rather than delve into its causes. To boil actions down to things to be mimicked, rather than things with complex motives to contemplate. To see.." she'd shake her head gently, and trail again, before beginning once more.
"There are always exceptions. There are no hard rules. The Dark Lord, of all people, taught me that - long before these reforms. Even if all the exceptions come by her word, they exist, still. And anyone who believes they do not, no matter how small they may be, seems rigid, to me. Rigid things do not grow. Rigid things do not get formed, do not get moulded, improved, they get shattered. As Valeus rightly did. I suppose I shall simply wait to see if the same fate awaits Nyrithe." she'd muse, uprighting her head once more, chin lifting from her hands a moment for the right to run back through her hair, curls trying to fall back to her face getting caught on horns, in part, draping down either side of her cheekbones as she looked back to the recorder.
"...and I surprised Kelsa, again. Not in the 'fascinating' way. Not in the.. managing to hit him in a spar way. I mean.. properly, to his core." she'd exhale slightly, her gaze flickering down, and back up, "I didn't know he cared. He's to teach me crush, and in that.. the depths one must delve into the self to find the needed fuel.." her brow furrowed gently, "A sense of vengeance, and.. I just had to ask. And.. he answered. It was for his mother.. and for Ayla." she'd look back down, gaze not meeting the camera, then. "And I told him. I asked him if he'd want to know, even if I couldn't explain how, or why, I knew.. even if it'd cleave his House in two.." she shook her head gently, gaze still not shifting, though her tone would slowly grow softer. "...and he still, more than anything, wanted to know. He.." she exhaled sharply, eyes closing for a scant moment, before fluttering right back to the device, "If it had been Sakre, oh I know how I'd have wanted to know. He said she was a sister, to him," she'd look down again, "Instead of the insignificance he had claimed before, the lie I had clung to when debating this moment, this choice, in times past. And.. an insignificance I could have kept from him, but.." her head shook softly, gaze moving back to the recorder again, "I did not enjoy seeing him stumble on his words. He, unlike, Mayâz, I can trust not to.. act rashly, at least, I think. And as for her.. I might have killed her. But, frankly, she might have yet killed me. What he does is his choice, I hardly regret my part. She is of use alive. A threat is gone if she dies. A position opened. We shall simply see." she'd shrug, almost nonchalantly. Almost.
The alien's gaze would linger in silence a few moments more, before she spoke again, the traces of emotion once more gone from her tone. "And so for now I wait in my freedom, bound for another role, one organised before I even left the last. It has been good, and I have used it well, but.. it will be nice to get back to pursuing a path, admittedly. Even if it has taken over a year to attain. This one shall be my choice, not someone else's." she'd muse.
She'd smile slightly, then. "Lord Sanguis described me as the ambient lighting in a room, recently. Unnoticed when I am present, but, when I am not, it is noted, and moreover complained about." she'd chuckle gently, then sighing softly in a moment’s pause. "...Sith Kelsa told me I was slated to become a shadow on the path I tread, once. But, truly, I think Lord Sanguis's description is not only more apt, but, also what I aspire to. I've no need for eyes on me, not really. Only perhaps eyes on the fact that mine are the achievements of an alien. But, not on me. Only when I ask for them, this is optimal. I'd much rather be left, trusted to my own devices, ignored until I ask not to be."
The smile would widen into a proper one, albeit a lightly melancholic one once more, as her gaze flickered down again. "Maybe one day, here. Maybe not. Time shall tell, time shall tell." she'd bob her browridges to the thought, before looking up again as the expression softened.
"Next time, all being well, I shall catch up on this sooner. But then," she'd smirk slightly, "Where's the growth in all being well, really?" she'd huff in amusement, her right hand shifting from under her chin, again, pausing on its approach to the device as her chin lifted faintly, "This is Rikki Syndathik, Apprentice still happily to Sith Narazri, signing off until next time. Should I make it that far.." she'd smile, no semblance of sadness to the expression despite the words, if anything, merely a well-humoured acceptance, her hand reaching on to end the recording, the alien's bright yellow gaze flickering from view along with the rest of her as the holo ended.
"This is Apprentice Syndathik.." she'd at first trail off, before huffing faintly in amusement, bobbing her browridges with a wry smile, "And first and foremost, I am fucking tired.." she'd chuckle gently, going to raise the glass to her lips to sip the drink, lowering it again to continue.
"I ended up being an Overseer for.. nigh on seven months. And I'd wanted to quit after less than three. But we were at war, and Sith Kelsa had more than the one duty. Nyrithe left and we needed another. And then of course, just as we returned from deployment to Dubrillion, months later.. he was reassigned. And I was suddenly the most experienced person left, so.." she'd sigh, deeply. "...well, someone had to make the karking trials go…" she'd purse her lips softly, taking another sip of wine in pause, her forefinger beginning to tap lightly on the glass in thought as she lowered it.
"But I have broken that chain. A fair few of the pool have ascended, now. Two, to Sith Zarchas - to Elias," she'd smile softly, "Who has ascended himself. Unchallenged, at that, and in perfect time to claim his choices - though he had a fight for one.. one he chose the grounds of like a true tactician and won for it. Lord Saltaeon took Uhlan, which I viewed as the best choice for him, and of that pool for her, too. Sith Kelsa.. took Cuvao," she'd shake her head gently, "The heretic. While the 'why' is not beyond me.. I've yet to decide whether I perceive it as a wise choice. Then again we are not exactly brimming with options, and he has yet to convince me to take the place.." she'd huff in soft amusement, "Though ironically, that’s not for lack of recent trying."
The alien's gaze would drift back to her wine, a sip taken before she began to simply swill it lightly as she spoke.
"Temekel put it well. She is a Vipion back from the dead, more alive than half the people who were already here. I am glad the trials happened, but, as she described the state, I became my work more than my progress. Things stopped moving. And after I quit they started all at once again. Moderation is perhaps a lesson finally learnt.." she'd smirk slightly, gaze flickering back to the recorder with an 'innocent' shrug of her shoulder, "...for now, at any rate. Time shall tell if it holds."
The wine would fall still once more, then, the smirk shifting to a soft smile, a melancholic hint to it, to start. "I found out it was Wradaii who placed the mine. A while back, now. Kari'da running her mouth of course being the cause. I didn't tell him, but, I did Sotazar, and he spoke to Sith Sarias. She pulled me aside and.. rather than warn me off seeking retaliation.. not that I'd even been set on it.. she simply told me to keep him in one piece but otherwise to use the fire well, as fuel. To not squander it but to wholeheartedly let it burn. And he and I had the best spar we'd had in a while. She solved a dilemma she didn't know I was having." she'd pause to muse, the smile widening into a proper one again, "And I'm crazy proud of Wradaii as of late. He's two initiatives to his name. The forging initiative, I've joined. And through an admission made in the process, Zartilda's got me on finally learning to write." she'd huff in light amusement, bobbing her browridges as she sipped the drink again, lowering it to continue, her gaze shifting back to the recorder as this time a stray curl escaped from behind a horn at the movement.
"On Dubrillion, too, one battle I was put in charge of a flank. I took Wradaii with me, amongst others. We held, barely, exhausted, with the Dark Lord's of all people's assistance at a point, and.. afterwards, he asked me whether he thought we'd avenged him. A question asked amongst bodies strewn in a trench, when the heat of battle was still cloying his blood, and yet still the mind moves back.." she'd sigh gently, "To our friend, dead and cold, a saber wound of his own making to his forehead in a chosen death, lest he be buried alive in the same setting we defended, this time. But did not the last. And despite the proud armoured man that asks, all I saw was the boy in Acolyte robes praying over a corpse in whispers. All I could see was the moment I clapped eyes on him, walking across the field carrying his body." she'd muse, fingers curling a little more around the stem of the wine glass as her gaze drifted back to the drink, "I don't know if we avenged him. If we ever will. But.. we hope we have, I feel.. and that is enough to say we have not. And.. I might yet tell him that." she'd frown gently, inhaling lightly as her gaze shifted to the device again, her left hand briefly shifting to tuck away the escapee curl once more as she brought herself to move on.
"Lexicon dragged on far past when planned, but was eventually won. For most of what remained, though, I could not take part. The House was deployed, and we returned with what can at best only be described as a pyrrhic victory. They tried to disobey, and so were shown fire," her gaze would flicker down to the glass, "Fire that cleanses. Utterly." before it returned as though it had not left. "Whereas Syrbandor bowed. They, remain mostly whole. An asset to the Empire rather than a lack of one for the Republic."
"And so, now, the House works to bring about the renewed prosperity of Sernpidal again. And I've ascension to think of. And.. with recent change.." she'd sigh softly, going to take more than a sip of the wine, continuing after she'd lowered it before her once more, blinking lightly as she did, a forefinger lifting from her glass in gesture as she began. "A chain has either been broken, or disguised, and I cannot tell which it is. Where once a rule that struck as anathema to the individuality of the Sith sat, now an exception is stated. Yet, this way of phrasing is not a new concept to me, rather, I think this is how it should have been all along. But that thought.. was only to disguise the chain. To make it fit, to excuse it, and so I see this.." she'd blink for a longer moment, her head shaking fractionally in a moment of pause before she carried on, "I see this and I have nothing but doubt. It sings of false hope. Of an open goal, only to motivate, never to be attained. As it should be, whether the chain persists or not, yet despite believing it is only now disguised.. I know I will be pulled in. And with each failure, I will improve, I will grow. And so despite the answer.. if the hope is false, it still pulls me the right way. If it is not.." she'd bob her browridges, inhaling lightly before sighing, deeply. "I don't even want to humour that it's not. The 'rule' is enough. It's excuse enough to try even if I expect to fail. And I will hate it so. But, that is nothing new." she'd finish dryly, gaze falling to her right for a few silent moments, before settling on the projector again.
"Anyway. All it really does is give me more cause to ascend well, rather than just ascend. I'd been torn on the choice, up until this. I don't think I'm ready, yet. But all being well between garnering support and collecting tokens, I will be. And I intend on getting a shitload done along the way." she'd chuckle gently, going to sip at the remainder of the wine, her left hand finally freeing itself from her hair, the alien shifting the elbow beneath her to lean on instead, the hand meeting the other on the glass stem, one forefinger tapping against the other seemingly in thought.
“Vliriel didn’t make the slot in the end. She messed up a bit too much all at once. Though in the aftermath, she spent time complaining about how the decision was made off second hand reports, when she’d seemingly sent no first hand ones, so I’ve no sympathy. I’ll keep trying with her, but,” she’d shake her head softly, “No sympathy. She is such the epitome of a dichotomy of potential it hurts. For every upside, sits equally a downside, and she seems forever internally pulled in both directions. Zartilda got the slot instead, amusingly. Likely no longer where she expected to end up, but, she has all the same. And I do see it as a good match, still.”
"...what else, what else." she'd kiss her teeth, before breaking into a grin. "Ah yes. Naile, Kelsa, and.." the grin would fade, somewhat, "A kid called Jaxen. This was.. a tangential lesson for me. But moreso for sure for him. He.." she'd blow air between her lips, finding the words, "Kelsa will never be done learning lessons from overconfidence. Never. He had his eye on this Acolyte, Jaxen Varn. Not from the trials I just ran, but from the ones before," she'd furrow her brow slightly, the ghost of a sad smile reappearing, "The kid was sharp, really sharp, and it wasn't just Kelsa's eye on him. Naile found out, and Naile killed him, to hurt Kelsa, on camera, in the trial, and waltzed into the briefing room after and rolled the boy's head to Kelsa's feet and claimed it was an accident, claiming that his chosen Apprentice had just not been good enough. We didn't point this out to him, at the time, that we'd watched the whole thing. And.. after he ascended, months after, after having him join the branch, too," she smirked widely, "We come to planning the next set, to discussing making the notes from the feeds and I casually tell him, yes, we did indeed watch exactly what actually happened as it happened and I just.." she'd pause, a soft chuckle escaping her lips as as shook her head in amusement, "The absolute horror that dawned on him in that moment was.. really something." she'd huff gently, before going to finish off the wine, her left hand drifting to see the empty glass floated from view, the alien shifting to lean on her front, hands clasping together in front of her for her chin to settle onto. Her scars hadn't changed, though the messy one in the centre of her forehead seemed to house a small welt across it, currently.
"And, not a week after I left, Sith Kelsa elected to return. Nyrithe currently seemingly has a flaming durasteel ramrod up her ass that's turning her into even more of a stumbling political buffoon than usual. Demands left right and centre, carelessly set tasks, reforms that Darth Horuset and Lord Kalkoran did not let stand they were so sloppy." she'd exhale gently, bobbing her browridges, "A task to brutalise an alien. Not a weak Acolyte. Simply, an alien. Handholding, spoonfeeding, testing virtually nothing. That they can follow orders, rather than arrive at the correct conclusions themselves. If this Powerbase is dragged her way.." she'd purse her lips faintly, eyes narrowing in thought, "Seemingly we become blundering fools, then. Blind to anything but the value of blood, rather than the value of the acts committed by those that hold it. We become about the pure and the impure, not the strong and the weak, and the subtle nuance in our philosophy is wasted. I would be wasted." she'd tilt her head lightly, her left horn not quite grazing an arm as curls spilled down over it, her gaze not shifting, "And I'm not in the business of wasting myself. As individuals grow, so should the whole. If the whole begins to regress.." she'd trail, gaze drifting from the camera in thought a few moments, before moving back to it, "I'm patient. I really, really am. And the intervention on the reforms was a step in a more refined direction. Nyrithe's lack of grace simply worries me. At least her and Valeus are perhaps suited in that regard. He is far worse, but.. they sadly seem to more than share the inability to think outside their box. The penchant to take a fact at face value, rather than delve into its causes. To boil actions down to things to be mimicked, rather than things with complex motives to contemplate. To see.." she'd shake her head gently, and trail again, before beginning once more.
"There are always exceptions. There are no hard rules. The Dark Lord, of all people, taught me that - long before these reforms. Even if all the exceptions come by her word, they exist, still. And anyone who believes they do not, no matter how small they may be, seems rigid, to me. Rigid things do not grow. Rigid things do not get formed, do not get moulded, improved, they get shattered. As Valeus rightly did. I suppose I shall simply wait to see if the same fate awaits Nyrithe." she'd muse, uprighting her head once more, chin lifting from her hands a moment for the right to run back through her hair, curls trying to fall back to her face getting caught on horns, in part, draping down either side of her cheekbones as she looked back to the recorder.
"...and I surprised Kelsa, again. Not in the 'fascinating' way. Not in the.. managing to hit him in a spar way. I mean.. properly, to his core." she'd exhale slightly, her gaze flickering down, and back up, "I didn't know he cared. He's to teach me crush, and in that.. the depths one must delve into the self to find the needed fuel.." her brow furrowed gently, "A sense of vengeance, and.. I just had to ask. And.. he answered. It was for his mother.. and for Ayla." she'd look back down, gaze not meeting the camera, then. "And I told him. I asked him if he'd want to know, even if I couldn't explain how, or why, I knew.. even if it'd cleave his House in two.." she shook her head gently, gaze still not shifting, though her tone would slowly grow softer. "...and he still, more than anything, wanted to know. He.." she exhaled sharply, eyes closing for a scant moment, before fluttering right back to the device, "If it had been Sakre, oh I know how I'd have wanted to know. He said she was a sister, to him," she'd look down again, "Instead of the insignificance he had claimed before, the lie I had clung to when debating this moment, this choice, in times past. And.. an insignificance I could have kept from him, but.." her head shook softly, gaze moving back to the recorder again, "I did not enjoy seeing him stumble on his words. He, unlike, Mayâz, I can trust not to.. act rashly, at least, I think. And as for her.. I might have killed her. But, frankly, she might have yet killed me. What he does is his choice, I hardly regret my part. She is of use alive. A threat is gone if she dies. A position opened. We shall simply see." she'd shrug, almost nonchalantly. Almost.
The alien's gaze would linger in silence a few moments more, before she spoke again, the traces of emotion once more gone from her tone. "And so for now I wait in my freedom, bound for another role, one organised before I even left the last. It has been good, and I have used it well, but.. it will be nice to get back to pursuing a path, admittedly. Even if it has taken over a year to attain. This one shall be my choice, not someone else's." she'd muse.
She'd smile slightly, then. "Lord Sanguis described me as the ambient lighting in a room, recently. Unnoticed when I am present, but, when I am not, it is noted, and moreover complained about." she'd chuckle gently, then sighing softly in a moment’s pause. "...Sith Kelsa told me I was slated to become a shadow on the path I tread, once. But, truly, I think Lord Sanguis's description is not only more apt, but, also what I aspire to. I've no need for eyes on me, not really. Only perhaps eyes on the fact that mine are the achievements of an alien. But, not on me. Only when I ask for them, this is optimal. I'd much rather be left, trusted to my own devices, ignored until I ask not to be."
The smile would widen into a proper one, albeit a lightly melancholic one once more, as her gaze flickered down again. "Maybe one day, here. Maybe not. Time shall tell, time shall tell." she'd bob her browridges to the thought, before looking up again as the expression softened.
"Next time, all being well, I shall catch up on this sooner. But then," she'd smirk slightly, "Where's the growth in all being well, really?" she'd huff in amusement, her right hand shifting from under her chin, again, pausing on its approach to the device as her chin lifted faintly, "This is Rikki Syndathik, Apprentice still happily to Sith Narazri, signing off until next time. Should I make it that far.." she'd smile, no semblance of sadness to the expression despite the words, if anything, merely a well-humoured acceptance, her hand reaching on to end the recording, the alien's bright yellow gaze flickering from view along with the rest of her as the holo ended.
