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29-04-2023, 11:26 PM
Entry 9: Repulsive Opportunities
The recorder flickered to life, revealing the Neophyte in the usual holographic blue. Causing some features to be visible, whereas others were not. Pacing back and forth as he stood clad in robes of black armoured in intricate plates of silver. Splatters of crimson notable across the outfit, drops of the liquid still stealthily sneaking it's way down to the ground without apparent notice.
‘’Yes, yes, I know… I said it was my last one but my life is to be recorded, whenever I will meet my end, they need to know of what I did, and how did it…’’
The Neophyte halted in his steps for a short moment, his golden gaze shifting, locking on the center of the recorder’s lens.
‘’Two tasks are completed. The first I succeeded, I merely had to complete an operation for Apprentice Tashha, his ally. The second was… a bigger challenge. ‘’Collect me an amulet, the more you bring me, the higher the quality and you shall win.’’ This in and of itself was difficult, I only recently started my lessons with Occularis on Sith Alchemy. But on top of that… I had to prove myself superior to Aregra. Of course I had lost, I was given two days and never forged a single amulet before. To find a tomb that might have one would’ve taken too long. I had to find another way. And I did. A lethan twi’lek, a recently risen Lord of the Sith. Rhiaz. I have reluctantly worked with her before, she had claimed on many occasions to track and collect treasures of old. What she asked for in return though, was…. unsettling. The thought of it physically disgusted me, but I don’t think it was because she is an alien… No, it was just... She was as repulsive as they come, a complete lack of hygiene and no doubt stuck in the mindset as a former whore and slave amongst the Hutts whom shared her.’’
A long drawn out sigh was released from the man, raising his left hand to pinch the bridge of his nose. He shakes his head for a moment before the ziosti accent continued to carry his voice.
‘’As horrible as it was, it held opportunity, there was potential. So… I accepted her offer but only under the condition that it happened in a location of my choosing far away from the empire so no one would discover it. She accepted and handed me the amulet I requested. It still wasn’t enough of course and I lost to Aregra, but it mattered little. I could take the initiative, I had planned ahead. And this time, I would not fail. I told Soyut about what had happened, but I did of course not tell him of my plans yet, that would’ve set me up to fail, to live up to higher expectations that I know I cannot meet as of yet.’’
The man made a swift flick of his left wrist, violently pulling the high-backed chair to his grip, turning it around as he descended himself upon it's seat. Taking a short moment to breathe and focus, both forearms resting atop his knees.
‘’I had sent her the coordinates of the abandoned Jedi Temple on Mustafar, I had memorised every single trap and their mechanics. There was nothing I left up to chance, even the courtyard grounds were rigged with hidden mines that could be remotely detonated by me and me alone. She arrived in her shuttle with an imperial escort, I took her to the one room that contained most of the traps and she followed. She truly believed to have her… wish come true within seconds. Just as I turned around and locked her within the chamber, as she looked at me with this… fearful innocence, all kinds of thoughts ran through my head. Was it just a mask to throw me off-guard? Was it sincere? And if it was sincere, should I still proceed? I asked her a single question, intruding on her presence to discern truth from deceit. I had to be certain, my mind was to remain clear and focused. ‘Why are you afraid?’ I felt her fear increasing, she activated her saberstaff. She had no rational thought left, was I really about to… just kill her? It felt wrong, I know it was wrong, but there is no doubt in my mind that I would be disowned by Zutauha if she ever heard of my thoughts on this… I just had to, somehow, someway finish what I started here and now but… in the end I couldn’t do anything more than set off the deadliest trap I knew was within this chamber, the thousand and one poison needles. I just stood there cowardly, watching this surprisingly innocent Sith be brought down by a trap, set by the Jedi of all things! But she didn’t die. She was left alive, barely, but still living. Her heart continued to beat and it caused my own to skip a beat or two, the risk, the gamble was starting to affect me physically, I got nauseous and felt an aching sensation in the back of my head. I had to do something to fix this or else I might’ve gotten in a situation far worse than this. I could hardly breathe and in my panicked state I cut through the hollow table of stone and hid her body within, hoping that her escort would not realise she was there, hoping she made no sound. I ran back to her escort and I am certain that my condition helped in convincing them that a powerful Jedi had snuck in from the back of the temple, fought her as she tried to protect me only… to be captured. They believed it and entered the chamber. Fearful of what might happen if they discovered and told anyone I had to seal the chamber, leave them in there, leave them to starve…. I couldn’t forgive myself, but I couldn’t just wait until they got out or before back-up arrived. I brought Rhiaz back to an abandoned warehouse that I use sometimes for meetings I don’t want anyone to find out about. I was certain no one would be able to find her there. I stripped her of anything she had on her, tied her to a pillar and put a shock collar around her neck. I kept her alive just long enough until Soyut could finally arrive, I presented Rhiaz before him and offered the twi’lek a chance to live. She had to accept, I wouldn’t have been able to strike her down like that... I gave her her lightsaber and we fought, as our blades clashed and lightning struck, I could feel her despair, it felt sickening, her spirit had already been broken and I couldn’t keep going much longer, not because I physically couldn’t. Simply because I wasn’t ready for it. It was almost as if she knew what I felt, she just… gave up. Her barrier was broken and she no longer put it back up she.. died without much resistance.’’
A shaky breath left his mouth, rubbing his eyes for a moment. Mental exhaustion growing apparent.
‘’Soyut seemed to approve of what I did, but he left without a word spoken. He merely watched. I am almost certain that he knew, that he knew what I was thinking, what I was feeling. And what did he approve of? Me capturing and killing her? The conflict I was experiencing and still finished her of? Or was it just the death of another alien lord and he couldn’t care less about it being by my hand? I could’ve cried, I… desperately wanted, no, still want him to acknowledge me. I don’t even care anymore how. As family? His cousin. His future apprentice! I don’t care, just…. Just make me know!’’ As he continued to speak his frustration grew more apparent, his form gesturing with obvious envy, anger and frustration. His chest rising and falling rapidly, rational thought leaving his conscious thought for several moments. ‘’But he didn’t… he still hasn’t. He only cleared out Rhiaz’ apartment before I could. All I could keep was her body and her lightsaber, and I don’t know what I am supposed to do with them. Her lightsaber, just an empty ‘trophy’ to brag about like those idiots Vaenra and Cerberus? And her body? I am a Ronith, I am supposed to perform the ceremonies and burial of the dead. But, I guess I could better make use of it. Occularis did tell me that… ingredients like these are useful in Alchemy. I don’t know what I should do yet… i’ll need to think about it.’’
A very long moment of silence echoed through the room with uneasy intentions, he had to recollect himself. Stretching and balling his hands repeatedly as he was temporarily left in deep thought.
‘’The fact that Soyut cleared out Rhiaz’ apartment caused me notable issues as Lord Onar of the Sphere of Law and Justice summoned me the day after. I was accused of the the murder of Lord Rhiaz. I had two days, again, two days, to get myself the evidence to prove my innocence on this matter and if I failed, I was to be executed. I had no idea where to begin, I asked Lord Zel-Maras for advice, but instead of just offering me what I asked for, he offered me more. He would make sure I would never be harmed or ‘falsely’ accused of anything so long as I kept providing him with food for his house and handed him any imperial traitor I came across. I did of course accept, probably too quickly… but he did as he said and came with ‘evidence’ that proved I could not be the one to have killed the twi’lek. I am still surprised with how he managed to obtain this, I wasn’t even shown or told what this proof was. And perhaps, this is for the best, it will likely make me a bigger target to know the ins and outs of his operations. But… it makes me wonder. How did he obtain the proof? Did he forge the evidence? Did he have favours with Lord Onar? Or maybe he is just very persuasive, I have seen and felt his Waves of Darkness, anyone would be crippled and surrounder under such crushing dread. However he got me free, he managed to do it and i’m glad. But before Zel-Maras left he told me that there was a loose end that needed to be taken care of if I wanted to prevent this issue from returning, he said he wouldn’t be able to get me out of this same incident twice in a row. Lord Rhiaz’ sister knew about what happened…’’
Khatatas tapped his fingertips against each other nervously, a simple melody ringing true because of it's soft thuds that resonated throughout the room calmly. He opened his mouth to continue only to stop himself, deciding on his own words for a moment.
‘’Before I could even discover where her sister lived she called me instead, desiring to know the truth. I made myself much bigger than I truly am, I acted like an apathetic Lord of the Sith, she was a Neophyte that wanted information on her sister from me. She so desperately wanted to know, she told me there won’t ever be a chance for her to be recognized by her own family anymore. It… struck me’’ He lowers his head, resting it within the palm of both hands. Sighing deeply. ‘’I want the same, I feel as though I shouldn’t take that opportunity from others, yet I did unknowingly. Despite this, I… didn’t manage to show her this however, I just couldn’t. I wanted to sympathise with her, I wanted to tell her what I knew, about what I did. I just couldn’t. I want to be acknowledged more, I still had family to try and be recognized by. She did not. It was only logical.’’ The man stated, trying to convince himself more so than the potential viewer. ‘’I gave her a task and if she managed to complete it I said I would tell her what I knew. And she did exactly as I asked of her. She brought me back a young Tuk’ata as well as four K’lor’slugs, one of which had the potential to become a Broodmother, a queen. I gave this one to Lord Sanguinis. As the girl, Sazriva begged me to tell her I still couldn’t. I removed her limbs during a fight that took much longer than her older sister’s, her will wasn’t broken and it was admirable, but it was too late for her and I ended up feeding her to my recently acquired Tuk’ata. Once again I couldn’t truly finish her personally. Why is that? It is a weakness I should not have, a chain that I must break somehow. Perhaps, the underworld will help me understand how a lack of morals offers freedom. It is why I had sent the remains towards a fighting pit on Cyrkon, to be used as a literal meat shield for the gladiators of the Hutts. Hopefully they can teach me what Cautus could not...’’
The pureblood raised his head and looked directly into the recorder’s lens. Hands clenching, a soft smile appearing on his visage.
‘’After all this he finally came to me. His words made me so happy. ‘’You have taken initiative and proven to me you are the superior choice over Neophyte Kalkoran, your apprenticeship under me is secured. You will be mine once I ascend.’’ I was speechless, I couldn’t do anything but nod. Words could not describe how I felt. But… I don’t think that was the only reason. The rush I experienced during these gambles. The manipulation of these vulnerable woman. Even if I felt guilty when it occurred I can’t help but feel… exhilarated right now. I fear I won’t be able to stop now, it scares me, I don’t want to become another cold-hearted Sith...’’
At was as he finished the sentence that the recorder halted, ending the recording for this entry.
The recorder flickered to life, revealing the Neophyte in the usual holographic blue. Causing some features to be visible, whereas others were not. Pacing back and forth as he stood clad in robes of black armoured in intricate plates of silver. Splatters of crimson notable across the outfit, drops of the liquid still stealthily sneaking it's way down to the ground without apparent notice.
‘’Yes, yes, I know… I said it was my last one but my life is to be recorded, whenever I will meet my end, they need to know of what I did, and how did it…’’
The Neophyte halted in his steps for a short moment, his golden gaze shifting, locking on the center of the recorder’s lens.
‘’Two tasks are completed. The first I succeeded, I merely had to complete an operation for Apprentice Tashha, his ally. The second was… a bigger challenge. ‘’Collect me an amulet, the more you bring me, the higher the quality and you shall win.’’ This in and of itself was difficult, I only recently started my lessons with Occularis on Sith Alchemy. But on top of that… I had to prove myself superior to Aregra. Of course I had lost, I was given two days and never forged a single amulet before. To find a tomb that might have one would’ve taken too long. I had to find another way. And I did. A lethan twi’lek, a recently risen Lord of the Sith. Rhiaz. I have reluctantly worked with her before, she had claimed on many occasions to track and collect treasures of old. What she asked for in return though, was…. unsettling. The thought of it physically disgusted me, but I don’t think it was because she is an alien… No, it was just... She was as repulsive as they come, a complete lack of hygiene and no doubt stuck in the mindset as a former whore and slave amongst the Hutts whom shared her.’’
A long drawn out sigh was released from the man, raising his left hand to pinch the bridge of his nose. He shakes his head for a moment before the ziosti accent continued to carry his voice.
‘’As horrible as it was, it held opportunity, there was potential. So… I accepted her offer but only under the condition that it happened in a location of my choosing far away from the empire so no one would discover it. She accepted and handed me the amulet I requested. It still wasn’t enough of course and I lost to Aregra, but it mattered little. I could take the initiative, I had planned ahead. And this time, I would not fail. I told Soyut about what had happened, but I did of course not tell him of my plans yet, that would’ve set me up to fail, to live up to higher expectations that I know I cannot meet as of yet.’’
The man made a swift flick of his left wrist, violently pulling the high-backed chair to his grip, turning it around as he descended himself upon it's seat. Taking a short moment to breathe and focus, both forearms resting atop his knees.
‘’I had sent her the coordinates of the abandoned Jedi Temple on Mustafar, I had memorised every single trap and their mechanics. There was nothing I left up to chance, even the courtyard grounds were rigged with hidden mines that could be remotely detonated by me and me alone. She arrived in her shuttle with an imperial escort, I took her to the one room that contained most of the traps and she followed. She truly believed to have her… wish come true within seconds. Just as I turned around and locked her within the chamber, as she looked at me with this… fearful innocence, all kinds of thoughts ran through my head. Was it just a mask to throw me off-guard? Was it sincere? And if it was sincere, should I still proceed? I asked her a single question, intruding on her presence to discern truth from deceit. I had to be certain, my mind was to remain clear and focused. ‘Why are you afraid?’ I felt her fear increasing, she activated her saberstaff. She had no rational thought left, was I really about to… just kill her? It felt wrong, I know it was wrong, but there is no doubt in my mind that I would be disowned by Zutauha if she ever heard of my thoughts on this… I just had to, somehow, someway finish what I started here and now but… in the end I couldn’t do anything more than set off the deadliest trap I knew was within this chamber, the thousand and one poison needles. I just stood there cowardly, watching this surprisingly innocent Sith be brought down by a trap, set by the Jedi of all things! But she didn’t die. She was left alive, barely, but still living. Her heart continued to beat and it caused my own to skip a beat or two, the risk, the gamble was starting to affect me physically, I got nauseous and felt an aching sensation in the back of my head. I had to do something to fix this or else I might’ve gotten in a situation far worse than this. I could hardly breathe and in my panicked state I cut through the hollow table of stone and hid her body within, hoping that her escort would not realise she was there, hoping she made no sound. I ran back to her escort and I am certain that my condition helped in convincing them that a powerful Jedi had snuck in from the back of the temple, fought her as she tried to protect me only… to be captured. They believed it and entered the chamber. Fearful of what might happen if they discovered and told anyone I had to seal the chamber, leave them in there, leave them to starve…. I couldn’t forgive myself, but I couldn’t just wait until they got out or before back-up arrived. I brought Rhiaz back to an abandoned warehouse that I use sometimes for meetings I don’t want anyone to find out about. I was certain no one would be able to find her there. I stripped her of anything she had on her, tied her to a pillar and put a shock collar around her neck. I kept her alive just long enough until Soyut could finally arrive, I presented Rhiaz before him and offered the twi’lek a chance to live. She had to accept, I wouldn’t have been able to strike her down like that... I gave her her lightsaber and we fought, as our blades clashed and lightning struck, I could feel her despair, it felt sickening, her spirit had already been broken and I couldn’t keep going much longer, not because I physically couldn’t. Simply because I wasn’t ready for it. It was almost as if she knew what I felt, she just… gave up. Her barrier was broken and she no longer put it back up she.. died without much resistance.’’
A shaky breath left his mouth, rubbing his eyes for a moment. Mental exhaustion growing apparent.
‘’Soyut seemed to approve of what I did, but he left without a word spoken. He merely watched. I am almost certain that he knew, that he knew what I was thinking, what I was feeling. And what did he approve of? Me capturing and killing her? The conflict I was experiencing and still finished her of? Or was it just the death of another alien lord and he couldn’t care less about it being by my hand? I could’ve cried, I… desperately wanted, no, still want him to acknowledge me. I don’t even care anymore how. As family? His cousin. His future apprentice! I don’t care, just…. Just make me know!’’ As he continued to speak his frustration grew more apparent, his form gesturing with obvious envy, anger and frustration. His chest rising and falling rapidly, rational thought leaving his conscious thought for several moments. ‘’But he didn’t… he still hasn’t. He only cleared out Rhiaz’ apartment before I could. All I could keep was her body and her lightsaber, and I don’t know what I am supposed to do with them. Her lightsaber, just an empty ‘trophy’ to brag about like those idiots Vaenra and Cerberus? And her body? I am a Ronith, I am supposed to perform the ceremonies and burial of the dead. But, I guess I could better make use of it. Occularis did tell me that… ingredients like these are useful in Alchemy. I don’t know what I should do yet… i’ll need to think about it.’’
A very long moment of silence echoed through the room with uneasy intentions, he had to recollect himself. Stretching and balling his hands repeatedly as he was temporarily left in deep thought.
‘’The fact that Soyut cleared out Rhiaz’ apartment caused me notable issues as Lord Onar of the Sphere of Law and Justice summoned me the day after. I was accused of the the murder of Lord Rhiaz. I had two days, again, two days, to get myself the evidence to prove my innocence on this matter and if I failed, I was to be executed. I had no idea where to begin, I asked Lord Zel-Maras for advice, but instead of just offering me what I asked for, he offered me more. He would make sure I would never be harmed or ‘falsely’ accused of anything so long as I kept providing him with food for his house and handed him any imperial traitor I came across. I did of course accept, probably too quickly… but he did as he said and came with ‘evidence’ that proved I could not be the one to have killed the twi’lek. I am still surprised with how he managed to obtain this, I wasn’t even shown or told what this proof was. And perhaps, this is for the best, it will likely make me a bigger target to know the ins and outs of his operations. But… it makes me wonder. How did he obtain the proof? Did he forge the evidence? Did he have favours with Lord Onar? Or maybe he is just very persuasive, I have seen and felt his Waves of Darkness, anyone would be crippled and surrounder under such crushing dread. However he got me free, he managed to do it and i’m glad. But before Zel-Maras left he told me that there was a loose end that needed to be taken care of if I wanted to prevent this issue from returning, he said he wouldn’t be able to get me out of this same incident twice in a row. Lord Rhiaz’ sister knew about what happened…’’
Khatatas tapped his fingertips against each other nervously, a simple melody ringing true because of it's soft thuds that resonated throughout the room calmly. He opened his mouth to continue only to stop himself, deciding on his own words for a moment.
‘’Before I could even discover where her sister lived she called me instead, desiring to know the truth. I made myself much bigger than I truly am, I acted like an apathetic Lord of the Sith, she was a Neophyte that wanted information on her sister from me. She so desperately wanted to know, she told me there won’t ever be a chance for her to be recognized by her own family anymore. It… struck me’’ He lowers his head, resting it within the palm of both hands. Sighing deeply. ‘’I want the same, I feel as though I shouldn’t take that opportunity from others, yet I did unknowingly. Despite this, I… didn’t manage to show her this however, I just couldn’t. I wanted to sympathise with her, I wanted to tell her what I knew, about what I did. I just couldn’t. I want to be acknowledged more, I still had family to try and be recognized by. She did not. It was only logical.’’ The man stated, trying to convince himself more so than the potential viewer. ‘’I gave her a task and if she managed to complete it I said I would tell her what I knew. And she did exactly as I asked of her. She brought me back a young Tuk’ata as well as four K’lor’slugs, one of which had the potential to become a Broodmother, a queen. I gave this one to Lord Sanguinis. As the girl, Sazriva begged me to tell her I still couldn’t. I removed her limbs during a fight that took much longer than her older sister’s, her will wasn’t broken and it was admirable, but it was too late for her and I ended up feeding her to my recently acquired Tuk’ata. Once again I couldn’t truly finish her personally. Why is that? It is a weakness I should not have, a chain that I must break somehow. Perhaps, the underworld will help me understand how a lack of morals offers freedom. It is why I had sent the remains towards a fighting pit on Cyrkon, to be used as a literal meat shield for the gladiators of the Hutts. Hopefully they can teach me what Cautus could not...’’
The pureblood raised his head and looked directly into the recorder’s lens. Hands clenching, a soft smile appearing on his visage.
‘’After all this he finally came to me. His words made me so happy. ‘’You have taken initiative and proven to me you are the superior choice over Neophyte Kalkoran, your apprenticeship under me is secured. You will be mine once I ascend.’’ I was speechless, I couldn’t do anything but nod. Words could not describe how I felt. But… I don’t think that was the only reason. The rush I experienced during these gambles. The manipulation of these vulnerable woman. Even if I felt guilty when it occurred I can’t help but feel… exhilarated right now. I fear I won’t be able to stop now, it scares me, I don’t want to become another cold-hearted Sith...’’
At was as he finished the sentence that the recorder halted, ending the recording for this entry.
