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29-04-2023, 11:20 PM
Entry 2: Emotional Degradation
The male pureblood would burst to life as the recorder was turned on. The man would be sitting upon his high back chair again. His right hand resting upon his right knee, moving up and down as he moves the heel of his right feet up and down, over and over again. His left hand would be partially covering his sweat covered face. Khatatas would be wearing his simple black and dark red robes. The man's right eye would be staring furiously at the light of the recorder. His voice somewhat muffled by his hand.
''Yesterday was... educative to say the least. I have learned about my master, about myself and about the consequence of ones actions, moreso that I might have preffered. Even so, i'll start at the beginning.''
The pureblood wipes his hand across his forehead, swiping the tears of sweat away. The man sighed deeply, a mixture of emotion would be vibration through as he does. He'd lean forward and rest his arms on both knees. Staring in the recorder's light with an ominous look of anger.
''I traveled to the planet of Maridun to collect a variety of specimen for the chimera i'm constructing. I needed to collect a Carrier Butterfly for said project, whilst I was... forced to capture a Mastiff Phalone for Apprentice Soyut. In this mission I was accompanied by Corporal Katie, which surprised me with her apparent research, I didn't expect imperials to study anything at all. She proved herself to be usefull in that regard, Sith Cautus ordered her not to assist in any way however, which she followed to the letter. In any case, we traversed to Maridun, landed and not long after we did I noticed a Fwit, which was near immediatelly attacked and devoured by an adult Mastiff Phalone. I acted quickly and captured it without harming it at all, quite the feat if I say so myself. I then proceeded to catch the butterfly and bring both it and the Mastiff on board. When I was moving the large bird-like creature we were attacked by Amani, which Corporal Katie and I took care of within seconds.''
Khatatas paused for a moment, closing his eyes and taking a deep breath before moving on.
''We traveled back towards the Horuset Spire I delivered the butterfly and the Amani, got praised and scolded by Sith Cautus before I was greeted by four Viper guards, who would take me and the Mastiff to Apprentice Soyut's estate. He was impressed that I was able to pull this off, especially without harming the creature. We conversed briefly and then I proceeded to ask on what was wrong with my master, since everyone around me seems to be telling me not to become him, yet they didn't explain why. Soyut... seemed to be enoying my question, cruelty and sadism were very much apparent. We went inside and he showed me various holorecordings and told me the stories of my master's past faliures. That... was the first strike for today.''
The man of purity moved back, resting against the back of his chair, looking up towards the ceiling. He seemed genuinely lost for several moments.
Throughout the day I had been training with Apprentice Zunda, she taught me the basics and fundamentals of form V Djem So, Shien. Afterwards I practiced one of the Acolytes for training until I was notified of the test results on the Amani slime I had been studying earlier that day, it seems that I was right, the slime covering their body is indeed poisonous, something I will certainly use in the future. In any case. Later, Apprentice Siors contacted me, he wanted to discuss the battle plan for our job of protecting Zhoxo, a contact I acquired during my trials, he and his business will be usefull in the future. Either way, Apprentice Siors humiliated me in front of the new Acolyte, I didn't respond at the time. I'll have my revenge sooner or later, one way or the other, perhaps i'll desecrate his face in the most shamefull ways possible. Strike two.
The orange-red skinned being stood up, both hands clawed as he slides his sharpened talons against one another, creating a screeching noise, something that appaeared to be calming the pureblood down somehow. His eyes were slowly burning up with an intensity, his body trembling and his breathing steadily increasing in it's frequency, signing that he was close to exploding.
''Then, there was the mission to collect the missing rations and crystals from the ilum operation, that the group previously weren't able to because.... Lord Saud had to give birth'' He'd say with annoyance. ''The mission itself was relatively easy, however once we located the supplies, we were attacked by a Jurgoran, a large amphibious creature that I eventually took three blood samples from. Near the end of the fight the beast would rush me, attack me. Which I tried to take advantage of, my attempt failed however and was instead crushed underneath it's weight. Then, suddenly everything went black. Physical pain triggered something, my earlier doubts of my master, the death of Lythare... that damned fool, why did he had to be as weak as to die! And the memories, the images, the connection to my people all of them killed, and I can still feel it deep within the corners of my mind. It all fired through my psyche, everything went black and then next moment I stand atop of it's corpse. It... it was an oddly satisfying sensation. Strike three.''
Khatatas would be walking from one side of the recorder's side to the other, his physical posture seemingly on the verge of collapsing while his voice was one of intense emotion, not one, not two, no, all of his emotions surging through his entire body. His trembling increases, his breathing increases, his emotions boil.
Then finally, once we're back. I went to take care of my wounds, my dota, Jen'kaar joined me. We had a short conversation on how we're both doing at the present time. And then I remembered, I saw this as the perfect oppertunity to confess my feelings for her, and inform her of my wish for her to take my hand. And...... as suspected, she doesn't like me the way I like her. She smiled once i told her why I like her the way I do, she told me she was flattered, but that's where it stopped and when the reasons not to came flowing in. First, because Soyut would probably beat me. Second, because she is focussing on improving herself. Third,she merely cares for me as family and it will never be more than that. Fourth, she. Feels. More attracted to those who are stronger than herself or know exactly how to handle her? What does that even mean!? It doesn't matter, i'm slowly earning Soyut's respect, i'll become stronger, i'll just have to train harder and prove to her that I am stronger, she must like me if I do that, right? Right!? But then... I said something stupid. She told me that she's currently a nobody and that, that wouldn't be helpfull due to my chance of becoming the heir to House Ronith. And what did i say? I didn't care, I said that I didn't care about any of that and that I won't ever be able to lead anything or anyone. She just left after that.''
Khatatas then suddenly stopped walking for a moment, he appeared to be calming down as the silence filled th air for a good twenty seconds or so. But then with a loud scream of confusion, anger, hate and rage he'd take the chair in his hands and violantly starts to slam it against the ground, throw it about the room and eventually it hits the holo-recorder, causing it to break and thus ending the recording.
The male pureblood would burst to life as the recorder was turned on. The man would be sitting upon his high back chair again. His right hand resting upon his right knee, moving up and down as he moves the heel of his right feet up and down, over and over again. His left hand would be partially covering his sweat covered face. Khatatas would be wearing his simple black and dark red robes. The man's right eye would be staring furiously at the light of the recorder. His voice somewhat muffled by his hand.
''Yesterday was... educative to say the least. I have learned about my master, about myself and about the consequence of ones actions, moreso that I might have preffered. Even so, i'll start at the beginning.''
The pureblood wipes his hand across his forehead, swiping the tears of sweat away. The man sighed deeply, a mixture of emotion would be vibration through as he does. He'd lean forward and rest his arms on both knees. Staring in the recorder's light with an ominous look of anger.
''I traveled to the planet of Maridun to collect a variety of specimen for the chimera i'm constructing. I needed to collect a Carrier Butterfly for said project, whilst I was... forced to capture a Mastiff Phalone for Apprentice Soyut. In this mission I was accompanied by Corporal Katie, which surprised me with her apparent research, I didn't expect imperials to study anything at all. She proved herself to be usefull in that regard, Sith Cautus ordered her not to assist in any way however, which she followed to the letter. In any case, we traversed to Maridun, landed and not long after we did I noticed a Fwit, which was near immediatelly attacked and devoured by an adult Mastiff Phalone. I acted quickly and captured it without harming it at all, quite the feat if I say so myself. I then proceeded to catch the butterfly and bring both it and the Mastiff on board. When I was moving the large bird-like creature we were attacked by Amani, which Corporal Katie and I took care of within seconds.''
Khatatas paused for a moment, closing his eyes and taking a deep breath before moving on.
''We traveled back towards the Horuset Spire I delivered the butterfly and the Amani, got praised and scolded by Sith Cautus before I was greeted by four Viper guards, who would take me and the Mastiff to Apprentice Soyut's estate. He was impressed that I was able to pull this off, especially without harming the creature. We conversed briefly and then I proceeded to ask on what was wrong with my master, since everyone around me seems to be telling me not to become him, yet they didn't explain why. Soyut... seemed to be enoying my question, cruelty and sadism were very much apparent. We went inside and he showed me various holorecordings and told me the stories of my master's past faliures. That... was the first strike for today.''
The man of purity moved back, resting against the back of his chair, looking up towards the ceiling. He seemed genuinely lost for several moments.
Throughout the day I had been training with Apprentice Zunda, she taught me the basics and fundamentals of form V Djem So, Shien. Afterwards I practiced one of the Acolytes for training until I was notified of the test results on the Amani slime I had been studying earlier that day, it seems that I was right, the slime covering their body is indeed poisonous, something I will certainly use in the future. In any case. Later, Apprentice Siors contacted me, he wanted to discuss the battle plan for our job of protecting Zhoxo, a contact I acquired during my trials, he and his business will be usefull in the future. Either way, Apprentice Siors humiliated me in front of the new Acolyte, I didn't respond at the time. I'll have my revenge sooner or later, one way or the other, perhaps i'll desecrate his face in the most shamefull ways possible. Strike two.
The orange-red skinned being stood up, both hands clawed as he slides his sharpened talons against one another, creating a screeching noise, something that appaeared to be calming the pureblood down somehow. His eyes were slowly burning up with an intensity, his body trembling and his breathing steadily increasing in it's frequency, signing that he was close to exploding.
''Then, there was the mission to collect the missing rations and crystals from the ilum operation, that the group previously weren't able to because.... Lord Saud had to give birth'' He'd say with annoyance. ''The mission itself was relatively easy, however once we located the supplies, we were attacked by a Jurgoran, a large amphibious creature that I eventually took three blood samples from. Near the end of the fight the beast would rush me, attack me. Which I tried to take advantage of, my attempt failed however and was instead crushed underneath it's weight. Then, suddenly everything went black. Physical pain triggered something, my earlier doubts of my master, the death of Lythare... that damned fool, why did he had to be as weak as to die! And the memories, the images, the connection to my people all of them killed, and I can still feel it deep within the corners of my mind. It all fired through my psyche, everything went black and then next moment I stand atop of it's corpse. It... it was an oddly satisfying sensation. Strike three.''
Khatatas would be walking from one side of the recorder's side to the other, his physical posture seemingly on the verge of collapsing while his voice was one of intense emotion, not one, not two, no, all of his emotions surging through his entire body. His trembling increases, his breathing increases, his emotions boil.
Then finally, once we're back. I went to take care of my wounds, my dota, Jen'kaar joined me. We had a short conversation on how we're both doing at the present time. And then I remembered, I saw this as the perfect oppertunity to confess my feelings for her, and inform her of my wish for her to take my hand. And...... as suspected, she doesn't like me the way I like her. She smiled once i told her why I like her the way I do, she told me she was flattered, but that's where it stopped and when the reasons not to came flowing in. First, because Soyut would probably beat me. Second, because she is focussing on improving herself. Third,she merely cares for me as family and it will never be more than that. Fourth, she. Feels. More attracted to those who are stronger than herself or know exactly how to handle her? What does that even mean!? It doesn't matter, i'm slowly earning Soyut's respect, i'll become stronger, i'll just have to train harder and prove to her that I am stronger, she must like me if I do that, right? Right!? But then... I said something stupid. She told me that she's currently a nobody and that, that wouldn't be helpfull due to my chance of becoming the heir to House Ronith. And what did i say? I didn't care, I said that I didn't care about any of that and that I won't ever be able to lead anything or anyone. She just left after that.''
Khatatas then suddenly stopped walking for a moment, he appeared to be calming down as the silence filled th air for a good twenty seconds or so. But then with a loud scream of confusion, anger, hate and rage he'd take the chair in his hands and violantly starts to slam it against the ground, throw it about the room and eventually it hits the holo-recorder, causing it to break and thus ending the recording.
