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29-04-2023, 10:44 PM
Thoughts on Sovernus Nova
**A diverse collection of people's opinon or stories about Sovernus Nova. Each section conveys Sovernus in different lights and provides insights on his character profile.**
"I was eight when Lord Marth's heir belittled me during the annual feast. His son, Targen Marth, a spoiled boy who could not control his violent impulse, continued to strike me for his own twisted amusement.
He was the son to a council member in the Arkanian Dominion, none in the halls dared to speak out against the uncivility. The rest sat on their tongues and the more pretentious of us laughed at the humiliation I had to suffer.
Only Sovernus took decisive actions, he demonstrated to Targen that not everyone will follow and submit to his whims. Sovernus was no more than ten years of age when he struck the boy in front of all the honored guests. The lords and ladies turned white as a pale ghost and Lord Marth himself was quivering.
How could I not love him after that?
That is not to say I approved of all he did, or much enjoyed the company of the man he became...But every little girl needs a big brother to protect her.
Sovernus was big even when he was little."
He was the son to a council member in the Arkanian Dominion, none in the halls dared to speak out against the uncivility. The rest sat on their tongues and the more pretentious of us laughed at the humiliation I had to suffer.
Only Sovernus took decisive actions, he demonstrated to Targen that not everyone will follow and submit to his whims. Sovernus was no more than ten years of age when he struck the boy in front of all the honored guests. The lords and ladies turned white as a pale ghost and Lord Marth himself was quivering.
How could I not love him after that?
That is not to say I approved of all he did, or much enjoyed the company of the man he became...But every little girl needs a big brother to protect her.
Sovernus was big even when he was little."
"Young master Sovernus didn't care much for attention. Despite being favoured by honoured guests, he'd sooner leave than spend another minute in social parties.
Glamour of the high life did not seem to sate his thirst like many Arkanian socialites. He'd much prefer to quench his thirst in the company of his books than his fellow peers. Often I encounter the young master walking through the Estate's halls by the stroke of midnight, where he'd find solace away from the noise of society.
Something about his eyes shows his detachment from the world. Often times I feel the void and isolation reflected in those.
But an eerie sensation tells me that he was never alone.
Never."
Glamour of the high life did not seem to sate his thirst like many Arkanian socialites. He'd much prefer to quench his thirst in the company of his books than his fellow peers. Often I encounter the young master walking through the Estate's halls by the stroke of midnight, where he'd find solace away from the noise of society.
Something about his eyes shows his detachment from the world. Often times I feel the void and isolation reflected in those.
But an eerie sensation tells me that he was never alone.
Never."
"To think what wonders and accomplishment the heir of House Nova has in store for Arkania!
When he landed front cover in the 'Arkan Enterprise' magazine, I knew he will be the next big thing! I was ecstatic! Simply ecstatic, with a capital E no less!
His father's a handsome devil and the fruit didn't fall far from the tree! Ladies are going to claw their way into his parties, to get a chance at getting with Sovernus.
He's from a powerful family. He's smart. He's rich. He's got that Nova charm! If I were ten years younger, I'd swoon myself over him with no hesitation-
And if I weren't married of course."
When he landed front cover in the 'Arkan Enterprise' magazine, I knew he will be the next big thing! I was ecstatic! Simply ecstatic, with a capital E no less!
His father's a handsome devil and the fruit didn't fall far from the tree! Ladies are going to claw their way into his parties, to get a chance at getting with Sovernus.
He's from a powerful family. He's smart. He's rich. He's got that Nova charm! If I were ten years younger, I'd swoon myself over him with no hesitation-
And if I weren't married of course."
"The namesake of the heir of House Nova derives from two of his forefathers. The Eighth Lord, Governus 'The Inventor' and the Twenty-Sixth Lord, Sovarion 'The Scholar' who is also Sovernus's grandfather.
It cannot be a coincidence how these were chosen given the family history. His father, the gentlemen who holds the title 'The Visionary' would not name his son lightly, as he is shown to be meticulous in all his pursuits.
Names carries power, it is why family names exists. To preserve the legacy with the accumulated measure of respect and power. A family legacy can mean everything. As it can command respect and fear through reputation alone.
But why do first names exist?
It is because each individual has to be tested to prove their worth. To carry a legacy is a burden not many can withstand. When a family legacy is tarnished, it is solely the fault of that individual- and that individual alone.
First names exist so that the family legacy can retain a measure of their historical significance, to separate itself from the individual who has besmirched it.
We have seen such with the Ninth Lord, Aphelis Nova 'The Lesser' and the Fourteenth Lord, Athegar Nova 'The Cruel'.
Only time will tell whether Sovernus is worthy of carrying such a burden, and to be bestowed an epithet befitting of his deeds."
It cannot be a coincidence how these were chosen given the family history. His father, the gentlemen who holds the title 'The Visionary' would not name his son lightly, as he is shown to be meticulous in all his pursuits.
Names carries power, it is why family names exists. To preserve the legacy with the accumulated measure of respect and power. A family legacy can mean everything. As it can command respect and fear through reputation alone.
But why do first names exist?
It is because each individual has to be tested to prove their worth. To carry a legacy is a burden not many can withstand. When a family legacy is tarnished, it is solely the fault of that individual- and that individual alone.
First names exist so that the family legacy can retain a measure of their historical significance, to separate itself from the individual who has besmirched it.
We have seen such with the Ninth Lord, Aphelis Nova 'The Lesser' and the Fourteenth Lord, Athegar Nova 'The Cruel'.
Only time will tell whether Sovernus is worthy of carrying such a burden, and to be bestowed an epithet befitting of his deeds."
"The Arkanian? I'd sooner dive into the gaping maws of a Terentatek than waste a single moment with putrid alien filth. At least the beast has the decency to end my suffering, but this 'Sovernus'? Annoyingly persistent as a smug little roach. Left him to die many times but he's like that one itch you can't get rid off and twice as unforgiving.
Only one problem I had with this scum. His face. I had to endure seeing it, day in and day out. I kept sending acolytes his way, but like Kowakian-lizard monkeys they couldn't even fix the problem even when he was handed on a silver platter.
Heard rumors he was responsible for Frelan Drul's downfall, he must've stolen the credit and glorified himself as a fearsome acolyte. Nothing but pointless schemes and arrogance. And defeating the generation's alpha? The pureblood Herezil Tsizias? A fluke, he must've cheated somehow.
He just happened to fall into the cracks of the academy. He overextended his stay and I wager his cowardly hide and pathetic worth will be seen by any who takes him in. He'd be better off as cannon fodder.
At least cannon fodders has its uses."
Only one problem I had with this scum. His face. I had to endure seeing it, day in and day out. I kept sending acolytes his way, but like Kowakian-lizard monkeys they couldn't even fix the problem even when he was handed on a silver platter.
Heard rumors he was responsible for Frelan Drul's downfall, he must've stolen the credit and glorified himself as a fearsome acolyte. Nothing but pointless schemes and arrogance. And defeating the generation's alpha? The pureblood Herezil Tsizias? A fluke, he must've cheated somehow.
He just happened to fall into the cracks of the academy. He overextended his stay and I wager his cowardly hide and pathetic worth will be seen by any who takes him in. He'd be better off as cannon fodder.
At least cannon fodders has its uses."
"You must imagine the surprise the platoon felt when we heard the heir of House Nova would be inducted into the military program. His father may own the private military, but BastionCore Industries is unrelenting in training its soldiers.
Sovernus was still young, barely enough to grow his own chin hair and looked scrawny in comparison to those of us who had been training for years. I must admit, it was cruel to send ones child into such program. He was silent and mostly reserved, which did struck to us as odd but it was better than having a spoiled rich brat tagging along.
We caught him wheezing and gasping for air in the first initial weeks, even caused some of us to wince in discomfort. Some of us figured he was a burden, paid little mind to his struggles. We all had at one point the same thought running through our head.
He does not belong here.
On the sixth month, we were sent to the jungles in Kluistar, and initially were plunged into a survival scenario where we had to endure and be resourceful. But we were unexpectedly attacked by pirates who isolated themselves away from society. Granted all of us had makeshift weapons and have been trained to utilise them, but the difference in firepower made us wait for the inevitable.
Then it happened.
Sovernus broke our despair by rallying us with an invigorating speech. When our resolve returned, he ordered us decisively to follow his tactical plan. Through heightened morale we eventually overcame the battle, as his strategies came into fruition. A victory hard earned.
When we returned with full vigour and celebration, Sovernus was ambiguously reserved. He returned to his silence and continued his days with us struggling through the training as he always had been.
We learned that he was not the most vocal of people but when he does speak, it always holds significance.
And while he still have difficulty in keeping up.
He earned a place amongst us."
Sovernus was still young, barely enough to grow his own chin hair and looked scrawny in comparison to those of us who had been training for years. I must admit, it was cruel to send ones child into such program. He was silent and mostly reserved, which did struck to us as odd but it was better than having a spoiled rich brat tagging along.
We caught him wheezing and gasping for air in the first initial weeks, even caused some of us to wince in discomfort. Some of us figured he was a burden, paid little mind to his struggles. We all had at one point the same thought running through our head.
He does not belong here.
On the sixth month, we were sent to the jungles in Kluistar, and initially were plunged into a survival scenario where we had to endure and be resourceful. But we were unexpectedly attacked by pirates who isolated themselves away from society. Granted all of us had makeshift weapons and have been trained to utilise them, but the difference in firepower made us wait for the inevitable.
Then it happened.
Sovernus broke our despair by rallying us with an invigorating speech. When our resolve returned, he ordered us decisively to follow his tactical plan. Through heightened morale we eventually overcame the battle, as his strategies came into fruition. A victory hard earned.
When we returned with full vigour and celebration, Sovernus was ambiguously reserved. He returned to his silence and continued his days with us struggling through the training as he always had been.
We learned that he was not the most vocal of people but when he does speak, it always holds significance.
And while he still have difficulty in keeping up.
He earned a place amongst us."
"He's certainly bright but not the smartest in the bunch. I cannot say he's exceptionally gifted, but he does have mental talent. Compared to other geniuses like Zequira Nemus or Ranval Grawn- Sovernus doesn't exactly boast libraries upon libraries in his brain, but he is a young prodigy nonetheless.
If I can describe him in one word? Curious. Both his personality and him being a curiosity himself. If he spent more time reading volumes of encyclopedias instead of questioning everything he learns, he'd no doubt be an academic contender.
Sadly he is not like his grandfather, Lord Sovarion Nova 'The Scholar'. I would have had great pride in having a hand in the makings of a stellar academic."
If I can describe him in one word? Curious. Both his personality and him being a curiosity himself. If he spent more time reading volumes of encyclopedias instead of questioning everything he learns, he'd no doubt be an academic contender.
Sadly he is not like his grandfather, Lord Sovarion Nova 'The Scholar'. I would have had great pride in having a hand in the makings of a stellar academic."
"When we first met, I didn't even know he was an Arkanian. Or that a race of people that looked like they dived headlong into six feet of snow even existed. I figured he was just...severely ill or something. He didn't seem human at all.
You have people that are cruel and harsh that makes you question whether they have a shred of humanity in them. But he was just...I don't know, there's something inhuman about him. Something about him makes me feel uncomfortable despite his good looks.
Or maybe he's manufactured? I heard Arkanians are really really smart in dabbling with science- or maybe he's half mechanical. It would explain his symmetrical looks and this air of...I don't know I can't put my finger on it.
And he has this way of looking at you. Like he's silently observing and judging you. I feel violated in a certain way, its really uncomfortable. It feels like he's staring into your soul or something.
He is seriously inhuman.
Whatever he is, he just happens to take the shape of a humanoid."
You have people that are cruel and harsh that makes you question whether they have a shred of humanity in them. But he was just...I don't know, there's something inhuman about him. Something about him makes me feel uncomfortable despite his good looks.
Or maybe he's manufactured? I heard Arkanians are really really smart in dabbling with science- or maybe he's half mechanical. It would explain his symmetrical looks and this air of...I don't know I can't put my finger on it.
And he has this way of looking at you. Like he's silently observing and judging you. I feel violated in a certain way, its really uncomfortable. It feels like he's staring into your soul or something.
He is seriously inhuman.
Whatever he is, he just happens to take the shape of a humanoid."
"Forget everything you think you know about him. Charming, charitable, kind- meaningless adjectives from a bunch of ignorant morons and fake news. He gets an even greater pass from ladies who are too drawn by his looks to see the horns sticking out of it. The entire family's rep of being 'oh so benevolent' is all just a big fat facade.
Sovyboy ain't an angel, let me tell you that. Only time he'd have a halo is when he's strangling an angel with it.
What you don't believe me? Kid's got those cold blooded eyes that only natural born killers have. How do I know? You're talking to one.
Still ain't nobody is going to believe it because he's got a rep of being a 'properly educated' kid. So ask yourself this. What education did he get from his old man? Just don't forget who he was raised by.
Because if he was raised by the Devil, ain't no way he's a saint."
Sovyboy ain't an angel, let me tell you that. Only time he'd have a halo is when he's strangling an angel with it.
What you don't believe me? Kid's got those cold blooded eyes that only natural born killers have. How do I know? You're talking to one.
Still ain't nobody is going to believe it because he's got a rep of being a 'properly educated' kid. So ask yourself this. What education did he get from his old man? Just don't forget who he was raised by.
Because if he was raised by the Devil, ain't no way he's a saint."
"H-hm? W-what? Sov-sovernus? Oh. He's n-nice...? What else is there... Ho-holds his conversations well? I c-can't socialise like he does. B-but I can remember complex algorithms and list all cybernetic components in alphabetical or numerical order in the last decade!
B-bet he can't do that! We-well maybe he can...But he's selective in wh-what he learns. H-he doesn't seem passionate in studying, it's like he's learning out of obligation and d-duty. Y-you can't excel like that...O-or maybe I haven't seen him study a subject he is infinitely interested in...
He excels in f-fundamentals I guess. S-smallest details don't es-escape his notice, I th-think piecing together i-information is his forte. If a professor gives us an exam, I w-would pass wi-with flying colours and in no time at all!
Sovernus is th-the type to try and deconstruct the exam. R-rather than focus on ov-overachieving he p-prefers to understand the 'formula' of the exam itself...He u-usually ends up with mediocre or bad grades.
H-he's an odd fellow. He focuses on the strangest things."
B-bet he can't do that! We-well maybe he can...But he's selective in wh-what he learns. H-he doesn't seem passionate in studying, it's like he's learning out of obligation and d-duty. Y-you can't excel like that...O-or maybe I haven't seen him study a subject he is infinitely interested in...
He excels in f-fundamentals I guess. S-smallest details don't es-escape his notice, I th-think piecing together i-information is his forte. If a professor gives us an exam, I w-would pass wi-with flying colours and in no time at all!
Sovernus is th-the type to try and deconstruct the exam. R-rather than focus on ov-overachieving he p-prefers to understand the 'formula' of the exam itself...He u-usually ends up with mediocre or bad grades.
H-he's an odd fellow. He focuses on the strangest things."
"Handsome fellow isn't he?
I'd be the luckiest girl if he chose me to be his 'plus-one' for the annual charity ball in Kandor. I would have the dazzling spotlight on me and the whole world will see the two of us together. Just the thought of it is wonderful. Of course I haven't seen him in years but I always hoped one day I'll see him again.
I first met Sovernus when we were young, little flowers that we were- not yet fully blossomed to our beautiful selves. I was shy of course. Nervous to see the son of 'The Visionary'. The thought of speaking to the Heir of House Nova had me a bit anxious to be honest.
I didn't know what to expect. The Nova Family has always been spoken highly. So I was told to act proper and...distant. Father was worried I might slip up and give a bad impression. Worried it may affect our family's business relations ..So I was told to be reserved to play it safe...
Mother taught me to breathe in and out whenever I was really nervous. So I did...rather audibly embarassingly enough. But Sovernus didn't mind...He told me it was actually adorable and took my hand gently. Showing me the gardens with the colourful petals...I was instantly smitten.
I had an even harder time breathing.
But he was caring, kind and thoughtful.
And I realised he was everything I wanted.
I remember scribbling it in my diary. It was a childhood fantasy of mine, walking down the aisle with a wedding dress. He would be standing there with his perfect hair and pristine eyes on me- softly smiling.
Heh...Every girl can have dreams, right?"
I'd be the luckiest girl if he chose me to be his 'plus-one' for the annual charity ball in Kandor. I would have the dazzling spotlight on me and the whole world will see the two of us together. Just the thought of it is wonderful. Of course I haven't seen him in years but I always hoped one day I'll see him again.
I first met Sovernus when we were young, little flowers that we were- not yet fully blossomed to our beautiful selves. I was shy of course. Nervous to see the son of 'The Visionary'. The thought of speaking to the Heir of House Nova had me a bit anxious to be honest.
I didn't know what to expect. The Nova Family has always been spoken highly. So I was told to act proper and...distant. Father was worried I might slip up and give a bad impression. Worried it may affect our family's business relations ..So I was told to be reserved to play it safe...
Mother taught me to breathe in and out whenever I was really nervous. So I did...rather audibly embarassingly enough. But Sovernus didn't mind...He told me it was actually adorable and took my hand gently. Showing me the gardens with the colourful petals...I was instantly smitten.
I had an even harder time breathing.
But he was caring, kind and thoughtful.
And I realised he was everything I wanted.
I remember scribbling it in my diary. It was a childhood fantasy of mine, walking down the aisle with a wedding dress. He would be standing there with his perfect hair and pristine eyes on me- softly smiling.
Heh...Every girl can have dreams, right?"
"Sovernus may seem strict, but he's no more ruthless than he has to be. A trait inherited from his father I believe, but he oft times carries the same empathetic plight reflected by his eyes that were more predominant from his mother. He bears an uncanny resemblance to his father, yet sadly does not carry himself with the same flair.
There's too much of his mother in him. A heart stoked with the flames of emotions. Lord Nova raised him well, there is no doubt in that. But behind all that frost, lies the fragile sensibilities of a compassionate soul.
He feels too much. This feeble sensitivity has no place within House Nova. If he is to lead us one day, his willpower must be absolute. A mind so unwavering that no existence can shake. A heart that is purged in place of objectivity, logic and rationale.
It is perhaps the most prevalent disagreement I have with Lord Nova. Whilst I have the utmost respect, deepest admiration and consider him to be a man of no equal, I vehemently cannot understand why he would allow the boy's heart to develop.
To allow the child to immerse himself in the spectrums of his emotions. There can only be suffering that awaits him. And I do not wish our future leader to be a man who is easily drawn to emotions as it can blind him from making the most difficult of decisions.
Overall, I am certainly not impressed. I would be filled with a sense of security if he was more like his father."
There's too much of his mother in him. A heart stoked with the flames of emotions. Lord Nova raised him well, there is no doubt in that. But behind all that frost, lies the fragile sensibilities of a compassionate soul.
He feels too much. This feeble sensitivity has no place within House Nova. If he is to lead us one day, his willpower must be absolute. A mind so unwavering that no existence can shake. A heart that is purged in place of objectivity, logic and rationale.
It is perhaps the most prevalent disagreement I have with Lord Nova. Whilst I have the utmost respect, deepest admiration and consider him to be a man of no equal, I vehemently cannot understand why he would allow the boy's heart to develop.
To allow the child to immerse himself in the spectrums of his emotions. There can only be suffering that awaits him. And I do not wish our future leader to be a man who is easily drawn to emotions as it can blind him from making the most difficult of decisions.
Overall, I am certainly not impressed. I would be filled with a sense of security if he was more like his father."
"Being part of House Horuset has always been an honour.
But I didn't know what I was signing up for when I first came into the powerbase. A fresh graduate from the Imperial Academy with top marks and recommendations, I felt prideful in the prospect of being part of the Empire's finest.
But I didn't feel like I belonged when I came into the House.
I guess I always knew that there was little appreciation for the Imperials. The Sith has always seen us as a means to an end. It's general knowledge in the academy, but I don't believe any of us ever truly took it to heart until we were serving them directly.
The Sith treated us as nothing more than property, and it felt even more miserable when acolytes felt they were entitled to do the same. I started questioning whether I could fulfill my childhood dreams of being a force for justice in the galaxy and make my mother proud. Then questions began to surface on whether I was fighting for the right side.
Honestly, I felt drawn to the Republic at one point. I secretly had my own collection of articles about the Republic stashed away, having experience as part of the contraband detail was helpful afterall. And as I read through them each night, their military appeared to be the heroes I always wanted to be. Champions of the people. A force for good. That is not to say I wanted to defect at the time, but I'd be lying if I said that the idea hadn't crossed my mind.
As the days passed by, I felt even more hollow and emptier. I felt like a cog in a machine. That was when I decided, I would escape and find a way to Republic space. I would fulfill my dream of being the hero and bring a smile to my mother's face. I couldn't handle another day being another nameless face in the crowds.
But then I crossed paths with him.
Apprentice Nova.
I've heard of how ruthless Lord Sanguinis is even amongst the Sith, and rumours circulated that an apprentice of his was unquestionably observant. A natural manipulator- a senior of mine said, telling me that he had the makings of an Inquisitor. He mentioned something about a 'Lighter' incident, but never went on full details about that. Only that I would do well not to invoke the Sith's wrath.
When he stood in the way of the shuttle bay, I thought I was done for.
I cursed myself for not being extra cautious. There were already whispers of him watching the Imperials attentively. He was a different breed from the rest of the Sith I saw in the powerbase, he somehow finds importance in keeping track of those below him, while others wouldn't even spare a second to waste their time on us.
He beckoned me closer and I felt that death was imminent. I was trying my hardest not to show that I was literally shaking. Praying silently that he doesn't sense my fear and despair.
Then something unexpected happened.
He asked whether I like tea.
....I was completely dumbfounded.
Though it was better feeling dumb, than found dead.
I didn't know how to react but simply nodded. To which he told me to follow him. I was walking halfway through the halls when I remembered what my senior told me. That he was a natural manipulator.
I realised too late that he created distance away from the transport I was trying to escape with, he threw me off guard by a completely strange question and made me follow him in that disoriented state of mind. My mind shook me, telling me that he was leading me to a torture and interrogation room. My fear multiplied many times over when the realisation came to my head.
But the fear never became a reality, and I was shocked to find out I was truly being lead to the cantina.
He continued to surprise me when we sat down and tea was truly offered. It was unbecoming of a Sith to be sitting on the same table as a nobody like me, and strangely I find the gesture quite heartwarming.
Before I knew it, we were speaking in a familiar manner and realising this made me blink. I even asked him jokingly whether he would reprimand or punish me for speaking to him casually. But he assured me that he prefers an honest and open conversation when in private.
Then I had a life changing conversation.
We were exchanging worldviews and thoughts on the Republic and Empire. He made me realise the hypocrisy of democracy and the need for structure and heirarchies. I didn't know what made me do it, but I felt comfortable in his presence. I even opened up and told him about my admiration for the Republic military and how I always wanted to be a heroine.
But I realised how childish and immature my thoughts were when he opened my eyes to the reality. That 'good' and 'evil' were subjective, and while the Republic are too busy propping themselves as heroes of justice, the Empire was dedicating their efforts in actually changing the galaxy for the better.
He said that our military were devoid of this, and that the reason why the Empire has a strict order is because we value structure over individuals. We think about the greater picture rather than creating symbols for hope.
He told me that change happens when one is a part of something greater, and that being a hero is not about becoming a symbol but creating actual change, and is the reason why he admires unsung heroes more. The Empire's military has always been harsh and ruthless, but its because the Empire knows what's at stake and isn't deluded in the great amount of effort needed to save the galaxy. To be able to cast off their individuality to ensure order for all, and that is something I should take pride in.
I felt ashamed.
I was too drawn into believing in the ideals of being a heroine for the galaxy that I neglected what was truly needed to save it.
He made me realise the illusions I was captivated in and freed me from deluding myself any longer. Somehow being a cog didn't bother me anymore, as long as I can play a part in creating order in the galaxy, I wouldn't mind being underappreciated.
While I wouldn't be recognised as a symbol of hope, I would settle with being an actual force for change. And maybe I can return one day to my mother and say that I've done my part in changing the galaxy.
Before I could thank him, he stood up and told me he looks forward in seeing the development of my career and said something that warmed my heart forever.
'Farewell, Private Helena.'
I never told him my name throughout our conversation. And being driven completely empty and depressed because of feeling like a nobody, I cannot explain how heartwarming it was for me. I didn't feel like a nameless face in the crowd anymore, and while I finally accepted being a nobody, the most unexpected person made me feel that I was more than that.
I decided then and there I would commit myself fully to the Empire. I want to make him proud one day.
He gave me a purpose. And while I accepted that I will remain part of the nameless crowd.
I finally felt like I belong."
But I didn't know what I was signing up for when I first came into the powerbase. A fresh graduate from the Imperial Academy with top marks and recommendations, I felt prideful in the prospect of being part of the Empire's finest.
But I didn't feel like I belonged when I came into the House.
I guess I always knew that there was little appreciation for the Imperials. The Sith has always seen us as a means to an end. It's general knowledge in the academy, but I don't believe any of us ever truly took it to heart until we were serving them directly.
The Sith treated us as nothing more than property, and it felt even more miserable when acolytes felt they were entitled to do the same. I started questioning whether I could fulfill my childhood dreams of being a force for justice in the galaxy and make my mother proud. Then questions began to surface on whether I was fighting for the right side.
Honestly, I felt drawn to the Republic at one point. I secretly had my own collection of articles about the Republic stashed away, having experience as part of the contraband detail was helpful afterall. And as I read through them each night, their military appeared to be the heroes I always wanted to be. Champions of the people. A force for good. That is not to say I wanted to defect at the time, but I'd be lying if I said that the idea hadn't crossed my mind.
As the days passed by, I felt even more hollow and emptier. I felt like a cog in a machine. That was when I decided, I would escape and find a way to Republic space. I would fulfill my dream of being the hero and bring a smile to my mother's face. I couldn't handle another day being another nameless face in the crowds.
But then I crossed paths with him.
Apprentice Nova.
I've heard of how ruthless Lord Sanguinis is even amongst the Sith, and rumours circulated that an apprentice of his was unquestionably observant. A natural manipulator- a senior of mine said, telling me that he had the makings of an Inquisitor. He mentioned something about a 'Lighter' incident, but never went on full details about that. Only that I would do well not to invoke the Sith's wrath.
When he stood in the way of the shuttle bay, I thought I was done for.
I cursed myself for not being extra cautious. There were already whispers of him watching the Imperials attentively. He was a different breed from the rest of the Sith I saw in the powerbase, he somehow finds importance in keeping track of those below him, while others wouldn't even spare a second to waste their time on us.
He beckoned me closer and I felt that death was imminent. I was trying my hardest not to show that I was literally shaking. Praying silently that he doesn't sense my fear and despair.
Then something unexpected happened.
He asked whether I like tea.
....I was completely dumbfounded.
Though it was better feeling dumb, than found dead.
I didn't know how to react but simply nodded. To which he told me to follow him. I was walking halfway through the halls when I remembered what my senior told me. That he was a natural manipulator.
I realised too late that he created distance away from the transport I was trying to escape with, he threw me off guard by a completely strange question and made me follow him in that disoriented state of mind. My mind shook me, telling me that he was leading me to a torture and interrogation room. My fear multiplied many times over when the realisation came to my head.
But the fear never became a reality, and I was shocked to find out I was truly being lead to the cantina.
He continued to surprise me when we sat down and tea was truly offered. It was unbecoming of a Sith to be sitting on the same table as a nobody like me, and strangely I find the gesture quite heartwarming.
Before I knew it, we were speaking in a familiar manner and realising this made me blink. I even asked him jokingly whether he would reprimand or punish me for speaking to him casually. But he assured me that he prefers an honest and open conversation when in private.
Then I had a life changing conversation.
We were exchanging worldviews and thoughts on the Republic and Empire. He made me realise the hypocrisy of democracy and the need for structure and heirarchies. I didn't know what made me do it, but I felt comfortable in his presence. I even opened up and told him about my admiration for the Republic military and how I always wanted to be a heroine.
But I realised how childish and immature my thoughts were when he opened my eyes to the reality. That 'good' and 'evil' were subjective, and while the Republic are too busy propping themselves as heroes of justice, the Empire was dedicating their efforts in actually changing the galaxy for the better.
He said that our military were devoid of this, and that the reason why the Empire has a strict order is because we value structure over individuals. We think about the greater picture rather than creating symbols for hope.
He told me that change happens when one is a part of something greater, and that being a hero is not about becoming a symbol but creating actual change, and is the reason why he admires unsung heroes more. The Empire's military has always been harsh and ruthless, but its because the Empire knows what's at stake and isn't deluded in the great amount of effort needed to save the galaxy. To be able to cast off their individuality to ensure order for all, and that is something I should take pride in.
I felt ashamed.
I was too drawn into believing in the ideals of being a heroine for the galaxy that I neglected what was truly needed to save it.
He made me realise the illusions I was captivated in and freed me from deluding myself any longer. Somehow being a cog didn't bother me anymore, as long as I can play a part in creating order in the galaxy, I wouldn't mind being underappreciated.
While I wouldn't be recognised as a symbol of hope, I would settle with being an actual force for change. And maybe I can return one day to my mother and say that I've done my part in changing the galaxy.
Before I could thank him, he stood up and told me he looks forward in seeing the development of my career and said something that warmed my heart forever.
'Farewell, Private Helena.'
I never told him my name throughout our conversation. And being driven completely empty and depressed because of feeling like a nobody, I cannot explain how heartwarming it was for me. I didn't feel like a nameless face in the crowd anymore, and while I finally accepted being a nobody, the most unexpected person made me feel that I was more than that.
I decided then and there I would commit myself fully to the Empire. I want to make him proud one day.
He gave me a purpose. And while I accepted that I will remain part of the nameless crowd.
I finally felt like I belong."
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