A Dream Is In The Eye Of The Beholder

[Syllel]

Syllel turned over in bed, stifled a tired yawn before pulling the sheets up over her head and her face crinkled slightly in delight at the silken touch of it on her skin. The bliss only lasted for a moment before her eyes shot open. Silk? That couldn't be right. Wasn't she on Anx Minor? There were no silk sheets in warzones. Especially not the familiar feeling of Raxian woodmoth silk. She bolted upright, still clinging to the bedsheets, a comfortable sensation in a strange situation.

As her eyes adjusted to the midday light streaming in her heart began to beat rapidly. The room around her wasn't a warzone. It wasn't her stronghold with the Passik Kru, it wasn't even Sith Leive's home. It was.... home. Raxus.  The canopy bed was exactly how she remembered it. The little inspirational posters of fluffy animals. The stuffed Nuna plushie. The familiar door of a closet that practically stretched into infinity. Everything was as it should be and Syllel let out a startled gasp that quickly devolved into elated tears. She was home! There was no possible way to explain it but here she was. Everything was just as perfect as the day she left!

A new sense of dread started to enter her heart. Her parents.... They couldn't see her like this. Her legs. Her arm. Her hair! Her- Syllel's inner checklist of all the things wrong with her stopped when she realized she had two arms. Of course she had always had two, but these were two arms of flesh not one of metal. Cautiously she lifted the blanket, inspecting herself. Two shapely and glassy smooth legs sat there, as if they had always been attached. "That's not right..." Syllel said aloud, furrowing her brow. "Not even scars...." She mumbled, gingerly inspecting the area around her legs, looking for a seam. Maybe it was synthskin. Maybe they had been regrown and reattached. Maybe.... But no. They were legs and they were hers. Cautiously Syllel reached back, gently coiling  her hand around her bound up hair before letting it fall with a weighty thump. There was weight! Her hair was back!

Syllel couldn't tell whether she should be overjoyed at the prospect or alarmed. She didn't feel dead, so this wasn't the after life. Maybe it was a dream? She dug her clawed hand into her arm, flinching a little at the pinpricks of red boiling up. "Ow! Okay not a dream..."  Cautiously she rolled out of bed, testing her balance on the floor before slowly wrapping one of the many fine silken robes around her body. "Not a dream... Not dead.  Maybe I've gone crazy." She quietly laughed at the thought. She'd seen crazy people... They definitely weren't having as nice of visions as this. No, everything was far too peaceful. Everything felt too.... Too Good.

"Peace... Is a Lie."

Syllel whipped around at the sudden sound, her eyes searching the room but there was no one in sight. Her skin crawled slightly. "Hello.... Is someone there?" She called out in huttese. Only a deafening silence rang out in response. Hold on, where did the birds go? Wasn't there birdsong? Alarm started to rise inside the tiny woman. Something wasn't quite right here. Not right at all.

"Oooh look someone is putting pieces together. Took you long enough."

The voice came back and Syllel practically jumped out of her skin at it's sound. It was so familiar but full of mockery, condescension... Cruelty. Still now she had a frame of reference to where the sound was coming from: A massive Wroshyr  vanity. It had been specially made for her on her twelfth birthday and oh how many hours had she spent sitting at it, tending to her makeup before every day. Making sure things were absolutely perfect. A ghost of a smile crossed Syllel's face before she padded over to inspect it. How could a voice come from a mirror?

All her thoughts froze once she saw her reflection... It was her. Armoured and sporting mechanical limbs. Dyed black hair just starting to reach her mid back. But there was something off... Her eyes. They were wrong. Those weren't her eyes. Syllel's eyes were a pallid sea green but these.... These were yellow, like powered sulphur or molten gold.  Those weren't her eyes. That wasn't her.

"Hey there, killer. Glad we're not stupid. I almost thought you were going to start playing dress up if I waited any longer." The mirror image said, a smirk on its lips. "What's wrong? You look like you've seen a ghost? Nexu got your tongue?" The mirror figure laughed without joy, it was mocking and cruel, taking pleasure not from the joke but from the suffering it imagined Syllel was undergoing at the moment. "What... Who are you?"

"Okay... Maybe I am stupid."

"You're not me." Syllel retorted. "I'm me." The figure stayed silent, watching her like some sort of hungry predator as Syllel tried to put things together.

"You've done some bad things. All those people." Syllel opened her mouth to respond and the reflection held up a hand. "Not them. We gave the sith an out, we're not dumb. That one isn't on us. But," The mirror form drew out her words, taking pleasure in the dread that settled in Syllel's stomach "Cheiftain Anoon and his men?  That dropship full of imperials? Alpha squad? That Valor? The slaves. Marix and his men. Those slicers on Tattooine? You've been a naughty girl." The figure let out a mocking tut tut, wagging its finger at Syllel.

Syllel tried to find the words to respond but instead dropped her head in shame. Those deaths were on her hands. Maybe not the most recent but this was war.... She was bound to add to that tally once again. "I'm sorry. I guess I-" She started before the figure interrupred. "No! Stupid girl. Stop saying 'I'm Sorry.' Sorry doesn't get you what you want. No one else is ever sorry. Why are you?" Syllel fumbled with her words, mouth opening and closing like a fish but no sounds came out. "Spit. It. Out."

"I know who you are." Syllel said, a realization creeping into her gut. The figure grinned."You're my anger aren't you?"

"Now it's time we have a little chat, hm?"

"No."

"You can't push me out forever. You know that right? It's not healthy. Our master is right about that."

"If I do I'll be just like them."

"No, dummy. You still don't get it. They are like the way they are because they've never had a little sitdown. Personally, I'd rather run rampant but you constantly whine about avoiding blood. It's infuriating." Syllel let out a doubtful snort and for once the mirrored Syllel's face softened into an almost conciliatory look, "Look, you've been miserable. You need an outlet. How many times have you almost killed yourself? I'm not saying give me the reigns.... But let me help. The others don't get it. They'll never get through to you with all the tearing you down. But I've got a different sort of plan in mind."

Syllel listened, chewing on the words thoughtfully. She wouldn't lie to herself... Right? So theoretically this had to be true. "Things aren't working the way you've been doing it. So, lets try mixing things up a little, hm?"

"What did you have in mind... Exactly?"

"Well," The figure said, reaching out its hand, "Let me show you." Syllel stared at the metallic hand for a moment and she tilted her head back and forth, weighing the options carefully. "Fine. Let's see what you've got in mind."

"That's the spirit. Oh what fun we'll have together, you and I."

[Syllel]

A Meeting Of Minds

"So... What do you say? Even someone as dense as us can see the perks."

"It was interesting and you made some good points but I'll pass."

"Are you KIDDING ME?" The corrupted Syllel took a breath, "You don't get to just say 'no thank you' to the dark side. That's not how this works! That's not how it has EVER worked! I did my little song and dance and tried to be nice but now you have to get in line." One of the small women crashed into the other, needling their clawed hand against the side of her head. "This isn't some dance you get to decline. This is the force! Almighty, all powerful! Who do you think you are to defy it. To defy ME!"

The other Syllel, green eyed and on her back seemed momentarily stunned by the outburst before letting out a confused laugh. "What's so funny?" Her laughter continued, much to the other's growing confusion. "It's you. You need me to say yes. You can't just wiggle your way into my head and set up shop. You need someone to work with. Without me you're nothing."

"You don't know anything! I'm more powerful than you. I can command legions. I can destroy armies. I can-" The rant was cut off with the soft sound of Syllel's hand opening and closing on in a mocking manner. "If you're so powerful then do something. Prove it why don't you. Take control of me and make me do what you want." The two stared at each other for a long moment, each waiting for something to happen but both knowing exactly how it will play out.

"Fine, you win. I don't know why but I'm stuck listening to you, of all people."

"Exactly. That's how this is going to go. You listen to me. All this talk of destroying armies or commanding legions. Sorcerous power." Syllel waved her hand in a circle as she talked as if banishing one idea after another. "Did you really think that would sell me on the dark side?"

"It has worked on everyone before. Look around you, isn't that what all the sith want? Even your master desires her time in the spotlight. For everything to be as she wills it. I'm sure any proper sith would have leapt at what I offered."

"And yet here we are, you and me, sitting in this little corner of my head. Seems like the 'usual' isn't exactly all that interesting to me." The corrupted Syllel dragged her hands across her face with a long suffering groan, cursing being stuck with an eternally stubborn creature that could give an ornery nerf a run for its money in hard-headedness. "Fine. Let's do everything you want to do. So come on, spit it out, what do you want to do?" Another moment of uncomfortable silence passed and the yellow eyed Syllel let out a frustrated groan, finally realizing the position it was in. "You don't have a clue, do you? You're just flailing around hoping something will work."

"That.... About sums it up yes."

"Ooooh I hate you so much."

"Welcome to the club, I'm sure Emlar has shirts made." Syllel let out a long sigh, turning away from her mirror to sit down on a chair that seemingly spung into existence at her whim. "Look, honestly, I barely know who I am anymore. I don't know what I stand for. I don't believe in any of your mysticism or all that crap."

"So what now? Are we just going to sit around, bickering forever until you die and take me along with you?" The yellow eyed Syllel paced around, like a caged narglatch eyeing a juicy steak just out of reach. "Here I am, stuck with the worst sith of all time. I offer her everything and what does she do? She spits on it because 'oh I'm too much of a princess. I can't bear to get blood on my dainty little hands.' It's no wonder Rehara found you wanting."

"What was that?" Syllel shifted in her chair, turning to face the mocking face of her counterpart.

"You heard me. Rehara didn't want you. Zevasa tossed you out."

"Shut up."

"No one really cares about you. Sith Leive is just keeping you around because it's funny to have something so sad to point and laugh at."

"SHUT UP!"

"Not even your father could stand to be around you. He left before you were even born. How's that for a dissapointment?"

"SHUT UP!" Syllel lashed out, sending the mocking one sprawling and in the same motion rising from her chair. For a moment the yellow eyed Syllel seemed almost afraid before breaking into soft laughter. "There's that spine I've been looking for. Took you long enough."

Syllel, meanwhile, fumed at the thing standing before her. Her blood boiled and she wanted nothing more to throttle its stupid face, the very reflection of herself that seemed to be a mockery in every sense of the word. "Let's get one thing straight. You... Whatever you are, you don't get to talk to me like that. Not now, not ever or I swear I will find whatever part of me is force sensitive and I'll cut it out."

"That will likely kill y-" The mirrored Syllel trailed off, noting the look of understanding on the girl's face. She knew exactly how much that would risk. "I... See. Point taken. Just, um, think about what I said, hm? What I showed you? Why don't you use that pretty little head of yours to find something you want. We'll meet back up in a few day and talk about it over some wine?" Syllel nodded slowly, her face still as hard as flint, "I'll see you then. Next time keep your temper under control."

"Right. Sure." Syllel turned to leave, vanishing in the dream-like haze. Now alone the reflected image of Syllel finally stood up, looking down at the small tremors that shook its hands. For a moment, just a moment, the girl turned. It was just for a moment but it saw a pit of dark so vast and cruel that even the mirror had to admit it was more than a little unexpected. Still, now it knew Syllel had it in her and it threw back its head to laugh.

[Syllel]

Lost Soul

Syllel sat on the sand, overlooking the blasted field that the imperials and republic had squabbled over not to long ago. Things had gone silent now, for the first time in a while and the only noises left was the quiet shifting of sand as the wind blew it. "Why did I wish for something to happen." She picked up a stone ang angrily tossed it into the distant sands. Instead of striking with a distinctive hiss the stone bounced, skipping across the surface while casting strangle ripples like disturbed water. Syllel rubbed her eyes, not quite sure what was occurring.

She rose to her feet slowly, determined to head back to the outpost and get some sleep but as she turned the apprentice was greeted by an endless ocean of sand, stretching into the horizon and far farther than she was certain she had walked. "Okay not that way." Syllel turned back around, expecting the remains of the battlefield and blasted holes to return to her field of vision but instead it was just more sand, smooth and flat in every direction with not a feature in sight. "So it's one of those days. Okay."

Without much care where she was headed Syllel began to walk, trudging in a straight line across the vast sea. Absently she thought eventually someone would pass overhead in a scout vessel, or maybe a mortar would target her, something... Anything to give her a grasp on what direction she was headed and who was around. But such was not her fate, she continued walking and minutes stretched into what felt like hours. No visible progress seemed to have been made and the moon hung ominously in the sky, frozen.

Something wasn't quite adding up and Syllel settled down in the sand, patting it once before letting out a frustrated sigh. "I know you're out there. Come on, lets get this over with."

Almost like clockwork a voice replied, "How're you feeling. Been a big few days, yeah?" Syllel rolled her eyes, eliciting a laugh from her mirror, "Not a fan of mass death then. Not when you're in the firing line at least, that's understandable. It takes a certain-"

"Get to the point." Syllel snapped, already tiring of the apparition's seemingly weekly appearance to annoy her.

"So touchy. Fine, fine." Syllel's mirror said, waving her hands. The sand melted away and the scenery blurred then changed, shifting and warping into a familiar setting: A rather decadently appointed bedroom dominated by a colossal bed laden with pillows. Two doors sat on either side of the room. Syllel knew the first would lead to a long hallway and the other would lead to a walk in closet chock full of dresses. "How about something more familiar?"

Syllel stood, moving over to the walls to inspect the tapestries along the walls, a small smile of remembrance playing across her face at the woven image of a single sith with lighting issuing from their eyes to twelve kneeling disciples, one of her most favourite trophies. "It is nice, but you mentioned wine last time." Her counterpart let out a low laugh before holding out a previously unseen goblet of wine. "I suppose this works."

"You know why we're here. Have you given it some thought?"

"I have."

Her companion frowned, furrowing her brown in a concerned expression, "You know we share the same patterns. I know you're upset."

"The battle." Syllel volunteered, lapsing into silence as if expecting some sort of response or dismissal. When none came she continued, "I've never seen so many people die, not ever. I didn't have time to process it, not in the moment. But after... Th triage, all those injured. And even more people left out there to simply bleed in the sand."

"It wasn't you in the sand though."

"I-It wasn't." Syllel's face hardened, a bit of outrage filling her voice, "Those were still people though. Our people. Their lives had meaning, just as much as ours."

"Do they?" Syllel began to respond, a taste of bile rising in her throat at the smugly smiling reflection of herself. "Not many beings can use the force. Less of them can survive. That does, at least statistically, make you a bit more significant."

"Was that supposed to make me feel better? People died. A lot of people died and we couldn't do anything to help them! I couldn't do anything to help them! How are we supposed to claim to be powerful, to rule the galaxy if we can't even keep out own people out of harm's way?"

"No one ever said that having power meant you were infallible. Look around you, you've got plenty of examples of powerful sith screwing up. Things don't always can't work out. That's just life. Same with all those people in the cantina. They all had lives and families, right? What about them."

Syllel nodded slowly with the mirror's words. "Now enough with the sad-sack attitude. What is it that you want out of... Well all this." Her companion stared at Syllel expectantly and when no answer came forth she rolled her yellow eyes in frustration. "IReally? You've gone through all this bloodshed, survived for so long, and endured so much pain. And you don't even know why?" Syllel shifted uncomfortably, for once unable to meet her counterpart's gaze. "Is this some kind of joke?"

"Do I look like I'm joking?"

"Just... Get out of here. We'll talk again soon, stupid girl. Provided you haven't managed to kill yourself." A moment after the words were uttered Syllel awoke with a start, jerking upright on the cooling sand outside of the outpost, right where she had guess she had fallen asleep. With a soft groan Syllel turned, staggering back to the outpost, not quite sure what to feel after this most recent discussion.

[Syllel]

Running With Knives

Syllel awoke, immediately noticing the stench of blood, sick, and other scents she truly didn't wish to identify. It took her less than a moment to realize where she was. The cell door, the the wall, crisscrossed with old burns, chips, and other imperfections that she had meticulously counted, recounted and memorized. Across the tiny cell was the rack and a tray of all too familiar implements of pain. Blood pooled under the rack and stained its surface, steaming slightly in the cold air and filling the room with a dank coppery scent that churned the stomach. The only light in the room came from a heavy door that, for the moment, stood open.

"What in the galaxy are we doing here of all places?" A voice chimed out from behind her and Syllel turned, once again facing her mirror, who looked equally displeased to be in such an unpleasant memory.

"So it wasn't you that brought us here?" Syllel asked, taking a slow look around the room. Curiously she reached down and touched the blood, sending ripples across the still fresh pool as her fingers came away red and sticky.

"Of course not. This place isn't exactly my idea of a good time, but we're here so I'll ask you again. Have you thought of what you wanted? I'm growing impatient. Everyone is, little girl."

"I have." Syllel replied, her eyes drifting once more to the table and the gleaming tools that sat there. With a flick of her wrist she called one to her hands. It was strange to be the one holding the implement instead of having it carve fissures across her skin.

"Is this supposed to be where you attack me? Rejecting me once and for all as some kind of defiant scream to prove you are your own person? You know you can't hurt me."

"I know." Syllel turned the blade to herself.

"Oh someone's being dramatic." The mirror let out a little laugh, crossing her arms with an amused smirk. "If you actually were going to you would have done so already. You failed twice before, surely you know a third time isn't going to work either. Stop with the theatrics already." She reached out a hand, yellowed gaze locked firmly on Syllel's eyes.

Syllel said nothing, instead she maneuverer the blade up to her throat then behind her neck. With a sharp motion Syllel drew it across one of the few things in the galaxy that she truly valued and in the next heartbeat a clump of white fell from her shoulders , landing in the stony tiles and blood. It twisted slightly in the thick liquid before becoming sodden and stained with red. "Is... That supposed to impress me?" Her companion's face twisted in innate disgust, after all they both knew what it meant to her. Syllel, however, simply continued her motion, causing other clumps of precious white material to fall from her shoulders and onto the filthy floor.

Once she was done Syllel took a deep breath, ruffling what was left over her hair with a slightly shaking hand. "It was easier with help."

"Great. You made your little song and dance. Are you finally ready to actually accomplish something of worth or are we going to sit here while you get your claws done next?" The mirror asked with a biting tone, stepping around the pooling mess of hair and blood. At first she moved to lean against the rack before deciding it was far too filthy. With a dissatisfied huff she settled for crossing her arms, looking the picture of disdainful annoyance.

Syllel let the knife fall from her hands with a soft clatter, muffled by the liquid on the floor. "I've made my decision. I think I finally understand what I need to do." Syllel started to walk towards the door.

At these word's the mirror's mood seemed to rapidly change and a savage grin came to her face. "Finally! I swear you are the most stubborn being I've ever met but the two of us together can do great things. You want luxury, we'll have it. Ships, palaces, women, friends, power. It's all yours. Now lets get out of here." The mirror giddily followed along, practically skipping through the dank cell to follow Syllel before the original moved sharply, slamming the door in her mirror's face. "Hey! What do you think you're doing? I'm still in here idiot."

"I know. And you're right. I will have that. I'll have everything I ever wanted."

"Hey, you need me too. You can't do this all by yourself." The mirror yelled, outraged from the sudden reversal.

"I finally get what the sith meant. You can't be friends with the dark side. You've got to cage it, contain it, because you are a poisonous little thing and the second I turned my back I'm sure you'd sink a knife in it." From the other side of the bars Syllel stared at her companion. "No. You belong in a cage. I'll use what I want but you... You're never getting out of here."

The mirror let out a scream of anguish and rage, pounding on the door. "You'll see you little fool! I'll get out of here! I'll - " Syllel didn't bother listening to the rest, instead she slid the grate closed, turning the furious threats into muffled noise. Slowly she inhaled, taking a deep breath. It felt as if a horrible weight had been lifted from her shoulders. Perhaps this was the wrong choice, or perhaps it was the right one... But did it matter? She'd made her choice.

Syllel let out a soft pattering laugh turning and walking from the dungeon, not bothering to look back at the softly rattling door and the creature that raged within. She would have it all, everything she ever wanted and more. After all, that was what being sith was all about wasn't it? A sly smile crept onto her face and for once, everything seemed to be working out in her favour.


The End